Ah Beng And Ah Lian thread

[Dino]

Jokes, experience, comments about these special breed of society.

Mine is when i was in UK. A bunch of Ah Lian and Ah Beng from Penang went shopping at Tesco and thought 1 pound was cheap enough to warrant them to keep the shopping carts. They then hide the shopping carts in the laundry room.
4 carts were found in 1 week. :rolleyes:

[daBoss]

i dun have any jokes about ah beng and ah lian... but i can tell you that most ah lians are better looking than non-ah-lains... betcha most guys out there agree with me :)

[Linkinfark]

i dun have any jokes about ah beng and ah lian... but i can tell you that most ah lians are better looking than non-ah-lains... betcha most guys out there agree with me :)

Most ah lians have nice figures and legs.. especially when u see them wearing shorts in malls.. oh lala.. but still ah lian. Don't you wish you can 'convert' them into non ah lians?!

[Dino]

I think when they start talking, i start loosing interests!

[clos]

do we have ah lian in da house ? :rolleyes:
eh, if given a ahlian & a non ahlian, which 1 wld u guys prefer to take 2bed? :confused:

[Dino]

Hmmm....if Ah Lian looks like Zhang Zi Yi......thats a no brainer laaa

[song cm]

do we have ah lian in da house ? :rolleyes:
eh, if given a ahlian & a non ahlian, which 1 wld u guys prefer to take 2bed? :confused:

can i take both?? ;)

[Dino]

can i take both?? ;)

Whats your wife's phone #?? ;)

[ausman]

can i take both?? ;)

Excuse me... I tot we are in the Ah Bengs & Ah Lians thread.... not the sexual fantasies thread......

Dino... go and get his wife phone and call.... beh ta han..... :eek:

[Dino]

Dino... go and get his wife phone and call.... beh ta han..... :eek:

Hhehehehee......thats the plan....:D

[song cm]

Whats your wife's phone #?? ;)

Dino...thot u were my fren... :(

[Dino]

Dino...thot u were my fren... :(

Yah...need to bring you back to reality mah.......;)
But remember my words of wisdom.....if you gonna do it....just don't tell anyone. :D

[clos]

songcm & dino,
snakes & rats, all in 1 pot.....cantonese saying.

ahlian wears classy stuffs but not branded, not forgetting high heels & dyed hair colour.
ahbeng[/B] wear thich gold necklace/bracelet/BIG rings, exhaust pipe as loud as possible or d hole, can put a cat inside. gel the hair as stylish as poss, wears singlet or see-thru shirts and tight pants OR big bell bottom/trumpet pants......wohoooooo! :D

[KoChun]

Dino...thot u were my fren... :(

Song kena frame!!! :mad:

[Dino]

songcm & dino,
snakes & rats, all in 1 pot.....cantonese saying.


U the pot rite?

[clos]

U the pot rite?

me pot? nolah..... :p

[song cm]

U the pot rite?

so...wat abt Ah Lian? Is she in the pot as well?? :D

[Linkinfark]

can i take both?? ;)

I like your style brader.. :D

[clos]

so...wat abt Ah Lian? Is she in the pot as well?? :D

2ah bengs & no ah lians...no pot yet....

[song cm]

2ah bengs & no ah lians...no pot yet....

2 ah beng....cannotlah....since when ah beng so gay one??

[Linkinfark]

Weren't we a bit of ah beng before? Remember used to have those baggy trousers where we can smuggle one or two chickens in.. The rebellious years!

[song cm]

I like your style brader.. :D

u can join us....hehe

[Dino]

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad.

That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion.

The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape.

Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape.

Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right."

Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, that's the key.." Ah Beng kept saying to himself. The soldiers lined up in front of him. The captain started, "Ready..."

"Timing," Ah Beng thought to himself

"Aim..."

"Okay," thought Ah Beng, and shouted, " FIRE!!! FIRE!!! "

[Dino]

Weren't we a bit of ah beng before? Remember used to have those baggy trousers where we can smuggle one or two chickens in.. The rebellious years!

Yah....the whole family can fit in also!!

[Dino]

Remember in 87....breakdance was big.....i recall some Ah Beng's got boombox to try and dance and trying to compete with each other.

[daLady]

Dino..in US...do you see many ah bengs and ah lians or not?

[piglet]

Ah beng in general like to drive Honda civic..and with their artificial blond hair..

[Dino]

Dino..in US...do you see many ah bengs and ah lians or not?

Man....those Ah Beng and Ah Lian if i see is the cream of the crop wan.
The Ah Lian wants to dress up like the Americans but look like 2 dollar crack whore.
The Ah Beng......look like Simpang Tiga gangster.

[Dino]

Ah beng in general like to drive Honda civic..and with their artificial blond hair..

Bingo!!! Here in US same thing. I dunno why the blond hair do though.

[kamkuey]

Ah lians do look good... just as long as they do not open their mouth and speaking to the weiter and then tly to orler oleng jui. :D

[piglet]

Bingo!!! Here in US same thing. I dunno why the blond hair do though.

V popular in S'pore.. especially in along Geylang rd.. :)

[TK Ho]

Can someone post a picture of how a typical Ah Beng and Ah Lian look like?

[alfred98]

Wah wah!!! Everywhere U go got so many whor......:laugh:

[belle_c]

Ah lians do look good... just as long as they do not open their mouth and speaking to the weiter and then tly to orler oleng jui. :D

haha..tats soo funny
...speaking of ah bengs..u know the sillyporeans called the infamous tammy's bf(by now ex-bf) the 'ah beng'? :rolleyes:
hmm..jus wondering whether thoose ppl(esp the guys) did it outta pure envy? but he does have dyed hair...

[TK Ho]

Wah wah!!! Everywhere U go got so many whor......:laugh:

Here, where got-lah in UK? Also, I need to know how a typical looks like before I can spot them-mah.

[Alkapocino]

Here, where got-lah in UK? Also, I need to know how a typical looks like before I can spot them-mah.
Ah Lians' like lui lian, eat chicken with both hands and tie their hair one kind!

[TK Ho]

Ah Lians' like lui lian, eat chicken with both hands and tie their hair one kind!

Yeah? What do you mean by tie their hair one kind wor? :wacko:

[Alkapocino]

Yeah? What do you mean by tie their hair one kind wor? :wacko:

Like this lor:

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/3838/imagesma2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[TK Ho]

Like this lor:

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/3838/imagesma2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

He he he...this looks like the normal hair tie in secondary school students wor. How to differentiate from Ah Lian? I am still confused.

Mebbe this can help me: What are the top five criterias to be called Ah Lian and Ah Beng?

[Alkapocino]

He he he...this looks like the normal hair tie in secondary school students wor. How to differentiate from Ah Lian? I am still confused.

Mebbe this can help me: What are the top five criterias to be called Ah Lian and Ah Beng?
1. Tie hair one type lor
2. When you enter the lift they will ask you to press "Gero" to go ground floor
3. Always hang around with Ah Beng with pimples. :p
4. Put tattoo everywhere except the right place
5. Varnish their toe nails RED! :eek:

[TK Ho]

1. Tie hair one type lor
2. When you enter the lift they will ask you to press "Gero" to go ground floor
3. Always hang around with Ah Beng with pimples. :p
4. Put tattoo everywhere except the right place
5. Varnish their toe nails RED! :eek:

4. Where is the right place to put tattoo?
5. Most people use red colour, no?

[Alkapocino]

4. Where is the right place to put tattoo?
5. Most people use red colour, no?
I am quite convinced we have found a new candidate for forum Ah Beng! :rolleyes: :laugh:

[TK Ho]

I am quite convinced we have found a new candidate for forum Ah Beng! :rolleyes: :laugh:

I still don't know how to diagnose a Ah Beng or Ah Lian-lah. :D

[Dino]

I still don't know how to diagnose a Ah Beng or Ah Lian-lah. :D

TK Ho...go look in the mirror...you'll find one there!!! :p

[alfred98]

TK Ho...go look in the mirror...you'll find one there!!! :p
Hahahhahahahhaaa LOL......TK Ho will courier the punch to U lah!!!!!!:laugh:

[Dino]

Hahahhahahahhaaa LOL......TK Ho will courier the punch to U lah!!!!!!:laugh:

Nevermind.....i can always refuse the shipment.

[noname]

depend. some ah lian or ah beng can be good looking or extreme bad looking.

i identified ahbeng and ahlian by the way they dress. so funky and so colourful. some wear so many - fake jewelry or metal stuff. i think they wanna to have the feel of american street nigro... funky funky style... :p

[alfred98]

Confused also like TK Ho!!! Anyone can really define Ah Beng & Ah Lian????:p

[Big Chief]

Confused also like TK Ho!!! Anyone can really define Ah Beng & Ah Lian????:p
Both originated from Singapore?...:unsure:

[alfred98]

What I think is defining those guys who looks normal...human I mean but veri homely like....Not much of mix arounds with abnormal non Ah Beng like....phew!!! Still don't understand.....Ok non Ah Beng will be those trying to look mucho...manly.....basically the parents wouldn't like to look one.....and pain in the a...s if U talk to then....and Ah Lian almost same lor....:laugh:

[TK Ho]

TK Ho...go look in the mirror...you'll find one there!!! :p

Eh, still can't see any, how-lah, mebbe I should look up the pictures of one of the administrators. :p

[athena]

Eh, still can't see any, how-lah, mebbe I should look up the pictures of one of the administrators. :p
ok la..look at mine la...i'm ah lian! :(

[TK Ho]

ok la..look at mine la...i'm ah lian! :(

Athena, we are talking about AhBenglar, not Ah Lian. So, I am not looking at your picture to find Ah Lian, okay?:squeeze:

[athena]

Athena, we are talking about AhBenglar, not Ah Lian. So, I am not looking at your picture to find Ah Lian, okay?:squeeze:
oops..sorry .wrong channel


*stupid antenna...keep flickering...tstk tsk*

[LiLiaN]

ath, your picture is nowhere near ahlian!!!!
so beatiful, i'm sure the guys would be drooling instead... ;)

[Big Chief]

Tipical AhBeng = Phua Choo Kang

[alfred98]

For me Ah Beng is like Ah Tui yang!!:D

[TK Ho]

Another question!

How do the names Ah Beng and Ah Lian come about? :wacko:

[Dino]

TK Ho...next time do a wiki on such things!! :p

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_lian
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_beng

[TK Ho]

TK Ho...next time do a wiki on such things!! :p

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_lian
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_beng

T Q Dino. These explains the meaning of these terms, but still do not say why the terms Ah Beng or AH Lian is used. :wacko:

[Dino]

T Q Dino. These explains the meaning of these terms, but still do not say why the terms Ah Beng or AH Lian is used. :wacko:

Because u want to make fun of someone laaaa....

[TK Ho]

Because u want to make fun of someone laaaa....

I know, but why Ah Lian, why not use Ah Wei, Ah Boh, Ah Jang, etc??? :p

[Dino]

I know, but why Ah Lian, why not use Ah Wei, Ah Boh, Ah Jang, etc??? :p

Dem long backside wan laa yoouuu...:p

[TK Ho]

Dem long backside wan laa yoouuu...:p

Wei, my question is still not answered.

[Dino]

Wei, my question is still not answered.

Why your parents name you Ho Teik Kok and not Ho Back Long??
Its a given name maaa....

[TK Ho]

Why your parents name you Ho Teik Kok and not Ho Back Long??
Its a given name maaa....

There must be a reason.

[Dino]

There must be a reason.

Because it sounds fitting maaa...

[TK Ho]

Because it sounds fitting maaa...

Ohhhh,,,i c i c...

[alfred98]

Ah Lian!!! Ah Beee.....all the same lah....human.....But ACS studenats are definately not Ah Lian or Ah Beng......why??? See the defination....:laugh:

[SS2006]

Ah Lian!!! Ah Beee.....all the same lah....human.....But ACS studenats are definately not Ah Lian or Ah Beng......why??? See the defination....:laugh:
These definitions?
The Ah Lian "culture" is especially prevalant in the secular Chinese educational system schools, typified by their frequent use of vulgarities and appearance in cliques (joined by their male counter parts Ah Bengs).

Ah Lians commonly speak in a kind of hybrid mix of Singlish or Manglish and Chinese, or Chinese-related dialects. It is also common for the grammar from these dialects to cross over English usage, creating English phrases with Chinese grammar.

The term "Ah Beng" is also sometimes used to describe young Chinese men in Southeast Asia who cannot speak fluent English and/or have graduated from the secular Chinese education system of the region.
Haha...if Nan Hwa people see this, what do you think they'd say?;)

[Odysseus]

These definitions?
The Ah Lian "culture" is especially prevalant in the secular Chinese educational system schools, typified by their frequent use of vulgarities and appearance in cliques (joined by their male counter parts Ah Bengs).

Ah Lians commonly speak in a kind of hybrid mix of Singlish or Manglish and Chinese, or Chinese-related dialects. It is also common for the grammar from these dialects to cross over English usage, creating English phrases with Chinese grammar.

The term "Ah Beng" is also sometimes used to describe young Chinese men in Southeast Asia who cannot speak fluent English and/or have graduated from the secular Chinese education system of the region.
Haha...if Nan Hwa people see this, what do you think they'd say?;)

"korrect wat. my england no good. want to fight ah?"

[athena]

"korrect wat. my england no good. want to fight ah?"
"oi, what speaking you?"

[Odysseus]

"oi, what speaking you?"
"Sui char bor, nan hwa come wan ah?"

[athena]

"Sui char bor, nan hwa come wan ah?"
" boh si lah..." hehe

[Odysseus]

" boh si lah..." hehe
"wat u tokking? where got 'boh si' wan in hockkien? Lu beh hiow kong ah? Kong england la..... "

[athena]

"wat u tokking? where got 'boh si' wan in hockkien? Lu beh hiow kong ah? Kong england la..... "
hahaha....'wa england boh terror wor...How to kong??" :p

[Odysseus]

hahaha....'wa england boh terror wor...How to kong??" :p
"Hockkien wah beh hiow kong, England beh hiow kong. Lu si world class Ah Lian liao la...... change name to Lilian wan or not?"

[athena]

"Hockkien wah beh hiow kong, England beh hiow kong. Lu si world class Ah Lian liao la...... change name to Lilian wan or not?"
" eeeh...kong change name ane eng ah? ai ki JPN wan le.... boh si kan la "

[kamkuey]

Ai.. an chua pian ki hokkien thread ar?

Sometimes hor... ah lian pun buey pai.. some of them.. jin jia cute eh.. kua liao want to bite them.. hehehehe..

and then hor... ah lian veli loyal wan.. watch too much gangsta hong kong mali movies..

[SS2006]

Ah Beng pick up line always like this " siao jie, can we become friend?:D "
with that silly grin on the face.

[kamkuey]

eh.. not .. "flen" ar? hehe

[Oddfather]

eh.. not .. "flen" ar? hehe
and sliva drooling from the side of the mouth.....:eek:

[Alkapocino]

"oi, what speaking you?"

VS

"Sui char bor, nan hwa come wan ah?"

Wow, this is really Ah Lian and Ah Beng tok tok thread man.

Athena Wan Li Lian vs. Odysseus Ho Gee Beng = Ah Lian vs. Ah Beng

Correct ot not?

[Dino]

[SIZE="5"]

Wow, this is really Ah Lian and Ah Beng tok tok thread man.

Athena Wan Li Lian vs. Odysseus Ho Gee Beng = Ah Lian vs. Ah Beng

Correct ot not?

:eek: :eek:

[athena]

:o :o :o

[Ah Boh]

i dun have any jokes about ah beng and ah lian... but i can tell you that most ah lians are better looking than non-ah-lains... betcha most guys out there agree with me
excuse me?? u gotta be kidding me... :weird:


ahlian wears classy stuffs but not branded, not forgetting high heels & dyed hair colour.
ahbeng[/B] wear thich gold necklace/bracelet/BIG rings, exhaust pipe as loud as possible or d hole, can put a cat inside. gel the hair as stylish as poss, wears singlet or see-thru shirts and tight pants OR big bell bottom/trumpet pants......wohoooooo! :D
ah lian oso love to mismatch all kinds of clothing eg. pink spaghetti top under another black spaghetti top + super mini blue skirt + green stockings up to thigh + ugliest orange bag on earth... get the picture? :sick:

i'd like to say to them - have u gone completely bonkers? wat d heck are u thinking??

ah beng leh, i agree they like to wear those chunky chains & big rings as if they trying to drown themselves. hey, maybe that's why their pants are falling all over d place n can see a bright red polka dot underwear! :laugh:

[song cm]

excuse me?? u gotta be kidding me... :weird:


ah lian oso love to mismatch all kinds of clothing eg. pink spaghetti top under another black spaghetti top + super mini blue skirt + green stockings up to thigh + ugliest orange bag on earth... get the picture? :sick:

i'd like to say to them - have u gone completely bonkers? wat d heck are u thinking??

ah beng leh, i agree they like to wear those chunky chains & big rings as if they trying to drown themselves. hey, maybe that's why their pants are falling all over d place n can see a bright red polka dot underwear! :laugh:

post your pic again and we will be the judge....:D

[Ah Boh]

1. Tie hair one type lor
2. When you enter the lift they will ask you to press "Gero" to go ground floor
3. Always hang around with Ah Beng with pimples. :p
4. Put tattoo everywhere except the right place
5. Varnish their toe nails RED!
1. Hey, dat hairstyle very ordinary & common la, wat's so ah lian about it, pray tell?
2. Yup!
3. Yup!
4. Not all have tattoos. Some put glitter or bodyart on skin.
5. Eh, i tot red quite normal colour for mature older women leh?

ok la..look at mine la...i'm ah lian! :(
oh dearie me... u are nowhere near ah lian type lar, believe me. :)

I know, but why Ah Lian, why not use Ah Wei, Ah Boh, Ah Jang, etc???
Woiiii!!!! :mad:

my name copyright u know!

[song cm]

hmm...sounds like you know alot abt ah lians....looks like daboss could be right after all.....

[alfred98]

Like that Teh BOH also yours lah!!!:laugh:

[Adele]

depend. some ah lian or ah beng can be good looking or extreme bad looking.

i identified ahbeng and ahlian by the way they dress. so funky and so colourful. some wear so many - fake jewelry or metal stuff. i think they wanna to have the feel of american street nigro... funky funky style... :p
maybe they were on their way to a party like our forum bash leh??? :p then every attendee that complies to the forum bash theme will be considered as an Ah Lian and Ah Beng??:huh: :laugh:

[Ah Boh]

Song my fren...

1st, i dun have pix cuz i see them with my own eyes at the malls, parks, movies, etc. open ur eyes, they're everywhere!

2nd, daboss right about wat?

3rd, and yes, teh boh is my great great great grandpa family biz. dun pray pray wor... hehe...

[song cm]

Song my fren...

1st, i dun have pix cuz i see them with my own eyes at the malls, parks, movies, etc. open ur eyes, they're everywhere!

2nd, daboss right about wat?

3rd, and yes, teh boh is my great great great grandpa family biz. dun pray pray wor... hehe...

i was just wondering u cld be an ah lian as you know so much abt them and daboss is right abt ah lian being better looking....:squeeze:

[Ah Boh]

i was just wondering u cld be an ah lian as you know so much abt them and daboss is right abt ah lian being better looking....:squeeze:
wahhh another crackpot who can spout compliment & criticism in one sentence! :p

beware, dragoncity, u got competition liao! hehehe...

and no, i am so NOT ah lian cuz im too conscious of my appearance to stand out like a sore thumb wor.

if im ah lian then i wudnt know how to recognise an ah lian cuz an ah lian cant see an ah lian within its ah lian-ness, geddit?

waitaminute... :wacko:

[song cm]

wahhh another crackpot who can spout compliment & criticism in one sentence! :p

beware, dragoncity, u got competition liao! hehehe...

and no, i am so NOT ah lian cuz im too conscious of my appearance to stand out like a sore thumb wor.
haha...since i am older, i must be the sifu...no??


if im ah lian then i wudnt know how to recognise an ah lian cuz an ah lian cant see an ah lian within its ah lian-ness, geddit?
waitaminute... :wacko:
i aso tau hin hin liao....

[athena]

what's wrong with being ah lian anyway??? hehe ...

[song cm]

what's wrong with being ah lian anyway??? hehe ...

haha...in your case, absolutely nothing's wrong....:laugh:...ah lian leng lui horr....

[athena]

haha...in your case, absolutely nothing's wrong....:laugh:...ah lian leng lui horr....
ah lians can be nice people wert....they just got some colour coordination error :p

[alfred98]

ah lians can be nice people wert....they just got some colour coordination error :p
Is just a fashion lah.....Look like is a trend!!!:p

[Big Chief]

In KL, Ah Lian's pick up line will be:
Ar.... leng chai.... tonight what you doing har...?
I feeling very boring la...

[TK Ho]

In KL, Ah Lian's pick up line will be:
Ar.... leng chai.... tonight what you doing har...?
I feeling very boring la...

And what's the answer? ;)

[Alkapocino]

1. Hey, dat hairstyle very ordinary & common la, wat's so ah lian about it, pray tell?
2. Yup!
3. Yup!
4. Not all have tattoos. Some put glitter or bodyart on skin.
5. Eh, i tot red quite normal colour for mature older women leh?



1. You call that hairstyle??? :eek:

4. Some even wear rubber bands!!!! EEEEK!!!

5. Red nails ma Ah Lian lor! :p

[PreciousPearl]

how to get that authentic genuwine for real Ah Lian & Ah Beng look :p

http://www.think.cz/issue3/05/ah_lian_ah_beng.html

this one also quite amusing:
http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm

[LiLiaN]

oh this is funny!!!

[TK Ho]

how to get that authentic genuwine for real Ah Lian & Ah Beng look :p

http://www.think.cz/issue3/05/ah_lian_ah_beng.html

this one also quite amusing:
http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm

Ha ha ha, PP, these are veli intelesting.

[SS2006]

You all noticed Ah lian and Ah beng doesn't wear glasses (rayban not counted)? Having myopia makes us automatically fall into geek/nerd category!:eek:

[Big Chief]

And what's the answer? ;)
Ah Beng to AhLian: "Walau....!, tonight I going 'Feng Tau'. Wan to come? I can drive my kapchai to your house at 11pm. Make sure you got blue hair ar...? Don let down my waterface ar..?

[alfred98]

Ah Beng to AhLian: "Walau....!, tonight I going 'Feng Tau'. Wan to come? I can drive my kapchai to your house at 11pm. Make sure you got blue hair ar...? Don let down my waterface ar..?
Hallo uncle ah!!! Your wife know or not????:laugh:

[Odysseus]

I am Ong Ah Bee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C and everything from 1, 2, and 3
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE

Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O levels I went to JC I was quite LUCKY

This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY
After that we must continue our Studies
The girls can just sit back, relax and watch TV
They come to this world only to “Chia Liao Bi”

No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I had no money to go to University or Poly
So I went to work at a FACTORY
Trying to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and ride in MRT

Colleagues at work used to be FRIENDLY
Always treat me to tea and COFFEE
Somehow they turned FISHY
Passing bad remarks about me
Telling everybody I am LAZY

My bosses show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder daily
“HURRY, HURRY and HURRY !”
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over-stretched OT
Going home after midnight by TAXI and They pay me only bus fee

I Park-Tor and became STEADY
Finally had to MARRY
I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY

In one year, I became DADDY
I can’t support my family and our BABY
Being tied down for life to repay HDB and rising monthly utilities to PUB
My bank account has NO MONEY POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE Insisting that “Nothing is FREE!”
So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI

Many times I want to jump into the sea to MATI
But that is not EASY
My wife cries: “Who is going to support me and our BABY?”
So I can’t MATI

I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy:
“Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me”
He never tell me any convincing Policy
My dear friends, can you pls help Ong Ah Bee and ME!

[Odysseus]

A Singaporean Ah Beng was on holiday in Malaysia. He was all having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam at the hotel’s coffee house.

A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him and started a casual conversation.

Malaysian: “You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?”
Singaporean: “Of course.”
Malaysian: “We don’t. In Malaysia, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore.”

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian: “Do you eat the jam with the bread?”
Singaporean: “Of course.”
Malaysian (chuckling): “We don’t. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and other left-overs in a container recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to Singapore.”

The Malaysian asked again.....
Malaysian : “Do you have sex in Singapore?”
Singaporean: “Why, of course we do! Don't forget we have our famous Geylang”
Malaysian: “Do you wear protection?”
Singaporean: “Of course! We wear condoms. Want to die of AIDS ah?”
Malaysian: “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”
Singaporean: “Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away.”
Malaysian: “We don’t. In Malaysia, the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them across to Singapore & that’s the real reason why they try to ban chewing gum in Singapore. Yet, the people die-die also want to buy chewing gum made in Malaysia”

[alfred98]

Hahahha LOL!! Anymore???:laugh:

[athena]

how to get that authentic genuwine for real Ah Lian & Ah Beng look :p

http://www.think.cz/issue3/05/ah_lian_ah_beng.html

this one also quite amusing:
http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm
after rebonding my hair...and getting those cute clips...i'm good to go as Ah Lian...haha...hv a 5 " shoes! :p

[Ah Boh]

how to get that authentic genuwine for real Ah Lian & Ah Beng look :p

http://www.think.cz/issue3/05/ah_lian_ah_beng.html

this one also quite amusing:
http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm
hmm... interesting reading. but somehow i feel dat m'sian ah lians & bengs are not up to sg standards. our local ones look like aunties going to pasar or ah peks with over greased hair. :sick:

[LiLiaN]

You all noticed Ah lian and Ah beng doesn't wear glasses (rayban not counted)? Having myopia makes us automatically fall into geek/nerd category!:eek:i think geek is better than nerd...
(i'm a geek...)

[SS2006]

i think geek is better than nerd...
(i'm a geek...)
Hi 5 Lil, I'm a geek too.
I've stopped wearing my contact lenses due to lots of work recently, causing eyes very tired and stress.

[LiLiaN]

i have been wearing contacts too much too...
and with lots of work lately, i'm alternating...
my contacts are bi-weekly...
so i'll be on contacts two weeks, glasses a week cycle...

(geeks unite!! :laugh: )

[athena]

i'm a geek without glasses :D

[LiLiaN]

that works too! hurray to the fellowship of the geeks! :D

[alfred98]

Ah Geek!!!:eek:

[TingMS]

Man....those Ah Beng and Ah Lian if i see is the cream of the crop wan.
The Ah Lian wants to dress up like the Americans but look like 2 dollar crack whore.
The Ah Beng......look like Simpang Tiga gangster.


wahlau....

seems like only Simpang Tiga has lots of gangsters.........

[alfred98]

wahlau....

seems like only Simpang Tiga has lots of gangsters.........
Ghost!! Better pindah rumah lah.....simpang tui kar....veri notorious leh......

[Odysseus]

Ah Geek!!!:eek:
Ah Geek, Ah Geek, Ah Geek,.............Ah Gal, Ah Gal, Ah Gal....

[TingMS]

Ghost!! Better pindah rumah lah.....simpang tui kar....veri notorious leh......


sure kar...

pindah rumah? why wor.... brother doc?

paiseh meh, stay in simpang tiga?

what so bad about simpang tiga?

just because it is branded with gangsters, then kena pindah rumah...

hehehheeee.... no logic lar..........

was brought up in simpang tiga, wife also from simpang tiga and still very very proud that i am from simpang tiga........

heheheee....

[SS2006]

sure kar...

pindah rumah? why wor.... brother doc?

paiseh meh, stay in simpang tiga?

what so bad about simpang tiga?

just because it is branded with gangsters, then kena pindah rumah...

hehehheeee.... no logic lar..........

was brought up in simpang tiga, wife also from simpang tiga and still very very proud that i am from simpang tiga........

heheheee....

Ghostie, tell them you are spg tiga tai kor, dem proud to be from spg tiga! If anyone kutuk spg tiga, go taruh them until they lau sai!:laugh:
From my understanding horr, Ayer Tawar lagi notorious!

[TingMS]

Ghostie, tell them you are spg tiga tai kor, dem proud to be from spg tiga! If anyone kutuk spg tiga, go taruh them until they lau sai!:laugh:
From my understanding horr, Ayer Tawar lagi notorious!


hahaaaaa......

whether tai kor or sai kor.....
no difference....
still dem proud from simpang tiga...
heheheee.........
doc...
ss2006 says Ayer Tawar lagi notorious wor.....
how come when mentioned gangster, no one associate them to Ayer Tawar...???
my head is spining now...

[SS2006]

hahaaaaa......

whether tai kor or sai kor.....
no difference....
still dem proud from simpang tiga...
heheheee.........
doc...
ss2006 says Ayer Tawar lagi notorious wor.....
how come when mentioned gangster, no one associate them to Ayer Tawar...???
my head is spining now...
Ayer Tawar a lot of gangster wat, especially from Ambrose one (hehe, just kidding, Alfred):p

[alfred98]

Ayer Tawar a lot of gangster wat, especially from Ambrose one (hehe, just kidding, Alfred):p
Ambrose!!! Wei!!!! Student from there sometime take over top student of ACS leh!!!:rolleyes:

[Anson F-Clef]

STRONGLY AGREE with you, CLOS! We have at least TWO FAMOUS Ah Lians inside the forum and another one who resides far away from Malaysia.....do we have ah lian in da house ? :rolleyes:
eh, if given a ahlian & a non ahlian, which 1 wld u guys prefer to take 2bed? :confused:
Good fact here, Loctor Alf - Dr. Tiang Soon Wee, best STPM student in 1990 (5A's) was indeed an Ambrose product b4 his Form 6 days, am I right?
Ambrose!!! Wei!!!! Student from there sometime take over top student of ACS leh!!!:rolleyes:

[Anson F-Clef]

Genuwine Ah Bengs and Ah Lians should be coined as those having pseudo-Bugs Bunny two front teeth protruding - AGREE? :eek: hmm... interesting reading. but somehow i feel dat m'sian ah lians & bengs are not up to sg standards. our local ones look like aunties going to pasar or ah peks with over greased hair. :sick:

[alfred98]

STRONGLY AGREE with you, CLOS! We have at least TWO FAMOUS Ah Lians inside the forum and another one who resides far away from Malaysia.....
Good fact here, Loctor Alf - Dr. Tiang Soon Wee, best STPM student in 1990 (5A's) was indeed an Ambrose product b4 his Form 6 days, am I right?
Yah ah!! He's currently a cardiologist in IJN!!!

[fishboy]

hahaaaaa......

whether tai kor or sai kor.....
no difference....
still dem proud from simpang tiga...
heheheee.........
doc...
ss2006 says Ayer Tawar lagi notorious wor.....
how come when mentioned gangster, no one associate them to Ayer Tawar...???
my head is spining now...
'86 most famous gangsta comes from Lumut lah:laugh: .. where he disappear to liou?

[TK Ho]

Ambrose!!! Wei!!!! Student from there sometime take over top student of ACS leh!!!:rolleyes:

Wei, not in 1993 STPM leh :p

[Odysseus]

Ambrose!!! Wei!!!! Student from there sometime take over top student of ACS leh!!!:rolleyes:
They became so good after being an ACS student ma..... This is the universal truth le...

[TK Ho]

'86 most famous gangsta comes from Lumut lah:laugh: .. where he disappear to liou?

He's in SingKapur?

[Big Chief]

How to spot Ah Bengs or Ah Lians?

1. Always having something new
2. Always think his/her ideas are always correct
3. (... continue please...)

[athena]

How to spot Ah Bengs or Ah Lians?

1. Always having something new
2. Always think his/her ideas are always correct
3. (... continue please...)
nto only applicable to ah lians and ah bengs :(

[Big Chief]

nto only applicable to ah lians and ah bengs :(
:laugh:

[alfred98]

3. Must frends with Ah Lian or Ah Beng onli!!!:D

[Odysseus]

WALAO...like that also can ah!!!!!

I got this frend Ahpek , he just got to know one China Piao mei whois in Malaysia on "vacation " so after a few days going out with this Piao mei then one day Ahpek asked the Piao mei :

Ahpek : Piao mei ar ... we go out so many days ledi wor .... when you wanna lemme wat wat u jek?

Piao mei : Ahpek ar .... you so fast wanna wat wat me meh? I only know you for a few days only worrr

Ahpek : a few days still not long enuff to show my sincerity meh? I really lafu you wan worr

Piao mei : Still not enuff ler .... there is something you havent done yet ler ....

Ahpek : What is that jek? faster tell me ... i fast fast go do!

Piao mei : All my frends mia bf all got buy them jewelry wan wor ... but you ...

Ahpek : Say no more! I bring you go buy now!


Ahpek then bring Piao mei go Kedai Emas Poh Kong .... you should see the glow on Piao mei 's face when she enters Poh Kong dat time.




As Ahpek enters the shop, he loud loud tok to the small counter clerk :

Ahpek : Eh ... ask your Manager come! I want buy diamond ring for my gf!


Later the Manager come with 2 packs of Drinho Packet drink ....

Manager : Boss, sit down and have a drink first ... we slow slow tok ok?

Ahpek : Eh lu Manager har? then bring me a very spesel diamong ring! i
wanna buy for my pretty gf here.

Manager : Wuah! you really " sik foh" (know your stuffs) ... know how to come to our place asking for diamond ring! our diamond ring very fehmes
wan! Nah boss .... this one 3 carats, very shinny diamond ..... after discount i gibe lu RM5,000 ok anot?

Ahpek : I think you no skool much wan la! which part of " Very Spesel" you dont understand? 3 carat?!!! My maid's diamond ring also more than 3 carats la!!!

Manager : Wuahh!!!! very little peeple so expert like you wan ler boss! I like you very much! Nah what about this? this wan 5 carats .... after discount RM13,000 only.

Ahpek : What discount discount? I dunwan those got discount discount wan! bring me something without discount!


Manager : Wuahh!!! ok ok I understand ledi boss! You really come to the right place liow! I recomen you this 10 carats diamond ring! This ring last time owned by itu HK Singer Kenny B mia ex wife wan ... this one made from the precious blue diamond from Egypt, only our shop got this! This one knot gibe discount ... the price is RM90,000

Ahpek : Hmmm ... lidis lar i like! come come lemme take a look

*Ahpek then pass it to the Piao mei and ask her :*

Ahpek : How baobei? you like this one anot? last time Kenny B's ex wife also wear before wan leh ....

Piao mei : I like Ahpek ! I like!

*Ahpek then pass back the ring to the Manager and said :*

Ahpek : ok la .... I take this one ... just now you said RM90,000 izzit ?

Manager : Yes boss, RM90,000 .... no discount

Ahpek : Ok lar ... my gf here love the ring very much .... i take it la!

Manager : Tenkiu boss!!! How would you like to pay? with Cash or card boss?

Ahpek : Cash? lu siao har? who walk on the street with 90k in their poket wan?

Manager : soli soli ... then you pay card izzit?

Ahpek : Pay card??!!! you know how high is the interest anot??!! diu!
Manager : Then?

Ahpek : Lidis lar .. I give you cek ok? you no need to gimme the ring 1st .... today is saturday mah bank alredi closed so u wait till monday only go bank take money la! the cek cleared ledi only i come and take the ring ok anot?

Manager : Ohhh ... lidat ok la! ok set boss, later monday your cek cleared ledi I will call you to come and take the ring ok?

Ahpek : dont call so early hor! I dont wakeup till 12pm wan.
Manager : Yes sir! I know sir.

*Then Ahpek issued the cek and hand it over to the Manager then Ahpek and Piao mei left the shop ...... 2 days later (Monday) the Manager called Ahpek on his handphone : *



Manager : Oi Cilaka lu! your account left RM18.02 only la! Diu! you where got money to buy a RM90,000 ring??!!!

Ahpek : I know my account no money wor ... I pretend to wanna buy my gf the ring only mah ... Knot ah?

Manager : Wuah you farker! If your gf know you are dem pokai I sure she will dump 9 u straight away!

Ahpek : AAhhh ..... dat one I know ledi laa ... tell you something you derno lar .... you know how nice she serbis-ED me on Saturday and Sunday anot?

WUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

WARNING : Kids, pls dont try this on your own ok? Ahpek is a trained propesionel .... hes higly trained to do this kinda stunts wan ..... if you are not highly trained like him, you might end up getting vietnam rose or saigon trumpet wan! Dun say i neber warn you ok?!

[alfred98]

Ah Pek keng con man lah!!!:laugh:

[Sarah]

Ah Beng pick up line always like this " siao jie, can we become friend?:D "
with that silly grin on the face.

haha.... SS2006, you are right la.. ... this phrase heard many times la.. make me wanna puke..

Back in sitiawan, whenever Im alone at school, waiting for mum to pick me, sure this group of ah bengs in motorbikes, come and say this... beh tahan.. hate this phrase!! :sick:

[SS2006]

haha.... SS2006, you are right la.. ... this phrase heard many times la.. make me wanna puke..

Back in sitiawan, whenever Im alone at school, waiting for mum to pick me, sure this group of ah bengs in motorbikes, come and say this... beh tahan.. hate this phrase!! :sick:
Haha...Nan Hwa Ah Beng, right?
Once there was this guy who tried this pick up line on me, then not long after that his mother, an old family friend of us who used to stay around the neighbourhood invited us to her new house for house-warming. This guy after seeing me in his house became so paiseh, don't dare to look at me! These type of Ah Beng, when in a group so bold...when alone became like a mouse.:rolleyes:

[Odysseus]

Ah Pek keng con man lah!!!:laugh:
Dun look down on Ah Pek le.... can be dem smart too :) Juz like Sitiawan Ah Peks who cycle those big bicycles around..:p

[Anson F-Clef]

sure kar...
pindah rumah? why wor.... brother doc?
paiseh meh, stay in simpang tiga?
what so bad about simpang tiga?
just because it is branded with gangsters, then kena pindah rumah...
hehehheeee.... no logic lar..........
was brought up in simpang tiga, wife also from simpang tiga and still very very proud that i am from simpang tiga........
heheheee....

Cheh wah! With this I repent from what I said abt San Niu Ruo earlier on....truly there are MANY MORE EAN TAU KIA and ANGELS from San Niu Ruo compared to AH TEAWs - RIGHT, TMS?

[Sarah]

Haha...Nan Hwa Ah Beng, right?
Once there was this guy who tried this pick up line on me, then not long after that his mother, an old family friend of us who used to stay around the neighbourhood invited us to her new house for house-warming. This guy after seeing me in his house became so paiseh, don't dare to look at me! These type of Ah Beng, when in a group so bold...when alone became like a mouse.:rolleyes:

precisely!! :eek:

[Anson F-Clef]

:cool: Hehehe - on the contrary, ACS guys tend to look out for nice long hair and lil brown eyes of Nan Hwa gals leh! precisely!! :eek:

[Oddfather]

:cool: Hehehe - on the contrary, ACS guys tend to look out for nice long hair and lil brown eyes of Nan Hwa gals leh!
speaking from xperience, izit?? So how many Nan Hwa girls have you buaya??

[Anson F-Clef]

speaking from xperience, izit?? So how many Nan Hwa girls have you buaya??

What if my answer is "Dai Bar"?? No leh, more gurls buaya me in history than I buaya gals :eek:

[Ah Boh]

What if my answer is "Dai Bar"?? No leh, more gurls buaya me in history than I buaya gals :eek:
blabberdash!! :laugh:

[Anson F-Clef]

:laugh: LMAO and LMBO :D blabberdash!!

[daBoss]

Haha...Nan Hwa Ah Beng, right?
Once there was this guy who tried this pick up line on me, then not long after that his mother, an old family friend of us who used to stay around the neighbourhood invited us to her new house for house-warming. This guy after seeing me in his house became so paiseh, don't dare to look at me! These type of Ah Beng, when in a group so bold...when alone became like a mouse.:rolleyes:
aiya... most guys guilty of this lah... :) part of growing up...

[SS2006]

aiya... most guys guilty of this lah... :) part of growing up...
Guys meaning 'boys' or 'men'?:rolleyes:

[Fishingman]

Three girls and Ah Lian got together and were discussing their boyfriends.

"My boyfriend's family has Royal blood," said the first proud girl.
"When my boyfriend enters a room, people look at him and say,
'Oh, Your Highness'"

The second girl went on,
"My boyfriend is a very religious guy. When he enters a room, people say,
'Oh, Your Excellency'"

"My boyfriend is a lawyer." continued the next girl.
"When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, Your Honor'"

Ah Lian thought for a moment.
"My boyfriend got green corour hair, wear bell-bottom pants, boh tak chek, and cannot speaking Engleesh. But people WORSHIPS him de" she said,

"Cos whenever he enters a room, people look at him and say,

'Oh My God!'"

[Big Chief]

Why Ah Bengs do not admit they are Ah Bengs?

[alfred98]

Why Ah Bengs do not admit they are Ah Bengs?
Boh tak chek Ah Beng!!:D

[Odysseus]

Why Ah Bengs do not admit they are Ah Bengs?
They are juz being humble ma.... imagine ppl gree them 'Oh my God'. Must be something special rite?

[Anson F-Clef]

Like frogs under the coconut shell.........They are juz being humble ma.... imagine ppl gree them 'Oh my God'. Must be something special rite?

[Big Chief]

Some Ah Bengs got 'molified' cars Man...!
Got Turbo Man...!
Got coloured hairstyle Man...!
Got Ecstasy Pills Man...!

[Anson F-Clef]

Got Ecstasy Pills Man...!

Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah, Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah,
Vrei sa pleci da Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa Numa Iei,
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
U know EXACTLY what I mean???:eek:

[Big Chief]

Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah, Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah,
Vrei sa pleci da Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa Numa Iei,
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
U know EXACTLY what I mean???:eek:
Ah beng will know everything

[Ah Boh]

Why Ah Bengs do not admit they are Ah Bengs?
same theory dat drunks do not admit dat they are drunk mah...

Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah, Feng-ah-feng-har-tau-ah,
Vrei sa pleci da Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa iei, Numa Numa Numa Iei,
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
U know EXACTLY what I mean???:eek:
wat the..... ??? :weird:

[Anson F-Clef]

wat the..... ??? :weird:

Well, Dragostea Din Tei by O-zone itself is a dancey tune - but wanna make it into fengtau fashion, I can do that ANYTIME, ma'am!!