making your man happy...

[daBoss]

i just went over to ah jang's blog and read this interesting entry:
http://www.jessieling.com/?p=109

i commented:
doesn't matter whether it is right or wrong... but if your hubby feels happier that you look attractive, why not put in serious effort and try to be attractive for him? most women will say right back - 'vice versa'... but that's not the point.

if a man is happy in his own bed, he won't go sleeping around. again, i'm not saying whether it right/wrong or fair/unfair... but why not just make your hubby happy? it may very well turn out to be a much easier and less painful route...

what do you guys think - don't flame me ah... i've just expressing my opinion... :)

[song cm]

Saw the article over the weekend......I just think the guy is a real jackass.....:mad:

[athena]

the grass is always greener on the other side?

what makes a man happy anyway? something stable? or something that is new?

happiness is a matter of perseptive. you have to work together. Not just the wife. nowadays the phenomena of wives having affairs is getting more rampant. How would husbands react to this?

[song cm]

as they say...wat you don know wont hurt you.....:amazed:

[athena]

but it will the the devil to pay when they find out!! :p

[song cm]

mebbe swinging is the answer to affairs...:eek:

[Dino]

Man has needs, women has needs......problem is neither knows how to fully address the need.

[athena]

mebbe swinging is the answer to affairs...:eek:
i ain't willing to share anything that is mine!!!

[Chris C]

i just went over to ah jang's blog and read this interesting entry:
http://www.jessieling.com/?p=109

i commented:
doesn't matter whether it is right or wrong... but if your hubby feels happier that you look attractive, why not put in serious effort and try to be attractive for him? most women will say right back - 'vice versa'... but that's not the point.

if a man is happy in his own bed, he won't go sleeping around. again, i'm not saying whether it right/wrong or fair/unfair... but why not just make your hubby happy? it may very well turn out to be a much easier and less painful route...

what do you guys think - don't flame me ah... i've just expressing my opinion... :)
Firstly, I agree fully with Song that that guy is a jackass......and I can also relate to daBoss's comment, which is actually one of the things in keeping the marriage together. As for me, taking the initiative for my looks does not only make my hubby happy, but it also gave me confidence and made me feel good about myself. ( actually my hubby wouldn't mind if i were to look like Dumbo, cos' he said then no guys would look at me wor...:laugh: )
But then, it should not be an obsession, cos' then a lot of unsatisfaction would creep in and destroy the relationship.

[JC]

mebbe swinging is the answer to affairs...:eek:
Swinging? What does this term mean? :o

[song cm]

Swinging? What does this term mean? :o
mebbe this can help you....:laugh:

http://www.searching.uk.com/swinging_lifestyle.html

[song cm]

i ain't willing to share anything that is mine!!!

haha....mebbe your asset is still new....wait till is older...mebbe it won't be as precious then....:laugh: :p

btw...we are talking abt ur new civic isit??

[Chris C]

mebbe this can help you....:laugh:

http://www.searching.uk.com/swinging_lifestyle.html
:laugh: ....and how many successful candidates have u picked up from there???:rolleyes: :p

[song cm]

:laugh: ....and how many successful candidates have u picked up from there???:rolleyes: :p

all oversea one worr......:laugh:

[athena]

haha....mebbe your asset is still new....wait till is older...mebbe it won't be as precious then....:laugh: :p

btw...we are talking abt ur new civic isit??
everyone likes new stuff...so from time to time, must do facelift!

civic not mine.:(

[song cm]

everyone likes new stuff...so from time to time, must do facelift!

civic not mine.:(

haha...but mkb is rite?? :laugh: ;)

[daBoss]

Firstly, I agree fully with Song that that guy is a jackass......and I can also relate to daBoss's comment, which is actually one of the things in keeping the marriage together. As for me, taking the initiative for my looks does not only make my hubby happy, but it also gave me confidence and made me feel good about myself. ( actually my hubby wouldn't mind if i were to like Dumbo, cos' he said then no guys would look at me wor...:laugh: )
But then, it should not be an obsession, cos' then a lot of unsatisfaction would creep in and destroy the relationship.
trust chris c to be the smartest... and looking attractive too... :)

[Chris C]

trust chris c to be the smartest... and looking attractive too... :)
:laugh: .......paiseh, paiseh :o .....just my humble opinion......and thanks...;)

[alfred98]

Happy man Happy Family......but sometime making your self atractive also won't help whor....just matter of opportunites arised in that particular time and place....As U see normally married man won't go to extend of looking for extra co relationship....mostly by chances.....eg...work collic......:cool:

[song cm]

wah...looks like daboss has been mixing too much with buayaking liao...:laugh:

alfred...totally agree with you....it is all about intention and opportunity....if both element arises....jialak liao....

[Chris C]

Happy man Happy Family......but sometime making your self atractive also won't help whor....just matter of opportunites arised in that particular time and place....As U see normally married man won't go to extend of looking for extra co relationship....mostly by chances.....eg...work collic......:cool:
:laugh: .....is that why mini does all the interbieu-ing and choosing of nurses for u?....:p

[ungsutiong]

Some women make their husband happy by preparing good food everyday. Take care of the tummy & let him sleep well i.e. no nagging before bed time. :D

[LiLiaN]

first up, i am no expert in relationship nor am i married...
but my take on this issue...

when problem first cropped up, it should have been dealt with...
instead, the wife saw it as her fault (her hubby also to blame for making her felt low)...
and they tried to patch things on the surface but never solve the underlying issue...

then, the wife started having affairs, probably tired of hubby not in supportive role...
the man didn't have a job, and at the same time didn't seem to make effort to help out...
since their communication has broken down prior, this time round it was not helping...
she didn't tell him why she felt the need to have the affairs with someone else...
and things ended up in a bigger mess than ever before...

now, they're on the "tit for tat" path which is not remotely going to help at all...
the wife said she was hurt, after all she had done including forgiving him for his affairs...
yet at the same time it made me question - if him having affairs hurt you, why did you end up with one too?
both parties have their wrongs, and it's spiralling out of control...

i believe in relationship, after all the initial excitement waning off and all...
it's up to both parties to make the commitment to keep each other happy...
don't forsake little actions, for they are more treasured than grand gestures/presents...
and stay true to your commitment, be loving...
my 2 cents...

[alfred98]

:laugh: .....is that why mini does all the interbieu-ing and choosing of nurses for u?....:p
Maybe!!!!:laugh:

[SS2006]

Happy man Happy Family......but sometime making your self atractive also won't help whor....just matter of opportunites arised in that particular time and place....As U see normally married man won't go to extend of looking for extra co relationship....mostly by chances.....eg...work collic......:cool:
True, true. In a lot of case i know of, the mistress is not as good looking and as successful career wise as the wife. Don't know which head the man use that make him fall into that action.

[SS2006]

first up, i am no expert in relationship nor am i married...
but my take on this issue...

when problem first cropped up, it should have been dealt with...
instead, the wife saw it as her fault (her hubby also to blame for making her felt low)...
and they tried to patch things on the surface but never solve the underlying issue...

then, the wife started having affairs, probably tired of hubby not in supportive role...
the man didn't have a job, and at the same time didn't seem to make effort to help out...
since their communication has broken down prior, this time round it was not helping...
she didn't tell him why she felt the need to have the affairs with someone else...
and things ended up in a bigger mess than ever before...

now, they're on the "tit for tat" path which is not remotely going to help at all...
the wife said she was hurt, after all she had done including forgiving him for his affairs...
yet at the same time it made me question - if him having affairs hurt you, why did you end up with one too?
both parties have their wrongs, and it's spiralling out of control...

i believe in relationship, after all the initial excitement waning off and all...
it's up to both parties to make the commitment to keep each other happy...
don't forsake little actions, for they are more treasured than grand gestures/presents...
and stay true to your commitment, be loving...
my 2 cents...
Lil, that's a good point...how true....

[TK Ho]

True, true. In a lot of case i know of, the mistress is not as good looking and as successful career wise as the wife. Don't know which head the man use that make him fall into that action.

SS, how many head can a man have? :unsure:

[athena]

regardless of being married or not.

u shouldn't two-time. that is wrong. period.

if a man sud wanna sleep around with other women and come back to say to the wife, "it's only sex" then, if the wife goes around and sleep with other men and come back to you and say "it's only sex" , how would you feel?? always put urself in ur partners shoes!

[SS2006]

SS, how many head can a man have? :unsure:
I don't know.:unsure:
I'm not a man.

[TK Ho]

I don't know.:unsure:
I'm not a man.

Only one. :D as any woman, no?

[athena]

Only one. :D as any woman, no?
dr ho. don't be so notti:p

[TK Ho]

dr ho. don't be so notti:p

Wei, what notti? OK-lah, I be good :wacko:

[LiLiaN]

regardless of being married or not.

u shouldn't two-time. that is wrong. period.

if a man sud wanna sleep around with other women and come back to say to the wife, "it's only sex" then, if the wife goes around and sleep with other men and come back to you and say "it's only sex" , how would you feel?? always put urself in ur partners shoes!totally in agreement - two timing is wrong. there should be no excuses for this.

[TK Ho]

totally in agreement - two timing is wrong. there should be no excuses for this.

Agree that two timing is definitely wrong. I think there can be many reasons for two timing, and both parties must play a role to avoid it.

[LiLiaN]

Agree that two timing is definitely wrong. I think there can be many reasons for two timing, and both parties must play a role to avoid it.
i won't say there can be "reasons" for two timing, i'm more incline to see it as "excuses"...
what constitute "reasons" for two timing someone? bad sex? weight gain? falling out of love?
partners work on sex issues together... encourage each other to cultivate the right body image...
and most of all be committed to their love for each other...

if one feels that the relationship one has is not what he/she wants/needs for definite...
then put it out and be honest about it, so a course of action can be taken...
be it to work out the differences, or to go on separate ways...
to go behind one's partner's back is just... errm... gosh can't find a word to say it... it's just wrong...
a betrayal of trust, a betrayal of love, and the emotional damage is enormous...

[TK Ho]

i won't say there can be "reasons" for two timing, i'm more incline to see it as "excuses"...
what constitute "reasons" for two timing someone? bad sex? weight gain? falling out of love?
partners work on sex issues together... encourage each other to cultivate the right body image...
and most of all be committed to their love for each other...

if one feels that the relationship one has is not what he/she wants/needs for definite...
then put it out and be honest about it, so a course of action can be taken...
be it to work out the differences, or to go on separate ways...
to go behind one's partner's back is just... errm... gosh can't find a word to say it... it's just wrong...
a betrayal of trust, a betrayal of love, and the emotional damage is enormous...

OK Lil, for the sake of discussion, here's a common 'reason' hypothetically speaking...the woman says, 'he did it, so i do it out of revenge' . Again, this is just for the sake of discussion. okay?

[alfred98]

The whole issue is veri complicated lah.....no right or wrong......Ok I give example ok....my frend....married with 2 gege....school going lioa.....after specialities study...he was posted to the hospital the wife working for few years....he got to know a lady loctor in kanak kanak department....maybe thru referals......U know the obs loctor after delivered the babies they handle it to the paeds lor....From frend they become close and closer.....dating and so on....we found out this...trying veri hard to discourage him from this family distrubing act.....So now he's thinking of second wife lor.....I still doubt the wife knew or not...The wife leh...workaholic work and work...let him to be free most of the time except weekend......so what do U all think???:confused:

[LiLiaN]

OK Lil, for the sake of discussion, here's a common 'reason' hypothetically speaking...the woman says, 'he did it, so i do it out of revenge' . Again, this is just for the sake of discussion. okay?hey, thanks for the illustration... :)

somehow i still see it as an excuse, even in this scenario...
because she is doing it out of what she wants to do...
then trying to cop out by giving this flimsy excuse...

a reason would be more like... errm... (also illustrative purposes ;) )
say, she had to do it to show him how his previous affair had ruin their marriage...
now she had a purpose, hence the "reason" part...

am i making sense..? i am really bad at giving example sometimes... :squeeze:

[LiLiaN]

The whole issue is veri complicated lah.....no right or wrong......Ok I give example ok....my frend....married with 2 gege....school going lioa.....after specialities study...he was posted to the hospital the wife working for few years....he got to know a lady loctor in kanak kanak department....maybe thru referals......U know the obs loctor after delivered the babies they handle it to the paeds lor....From frend they become close and closer.....dating and so on....we found out this...trying veri hard to discourage him from this family distrubing act.....So now he's thinking of second wife lor.....I still doubt the wife knew or not...The wife leh...workaholic work and work...let him to be free most of the time except weekend......so what do U all think???:confused:from what i see, the underlying issue could be him feeling lonely from wife working all the time...
and given the chance to know someone whom he can share more on day-to-day basis...
then this woman somehow became his confidante and it became affairs later...

number 1 : if he had felt isolated because of his wife's occupation, then he should have try to communicate that...
it is good to have friends outside to talk to and all, but when the wife doesn't know anything...
then it's also unlikely that she's going to know that she may need to do something to change her working habit...
she could well be just thinking hubby works hard, i'll also work hard, so we can provide for our kids and family better...
when men says they can't read women's mind, the same can also be said back... communication had got to be a 2-way street...
by having an affair, would that solve anything? don't think so...

number 2 : this situation seems to insinuate that it's the wife's fault that he has free time most of the time to go "play"...
this instead makes me feel like then he's even at a bigger fault...
it would seems like his wife is taking on more responsibilities than he is...
and since he's a father of two, he should spend more time with his children...
there's always a lot of things that father and children can do together, bonding and all...
or he probably should take up some hobby of some sort...?

number 3 : i know, sometimes, you can't dictate how your emotional side goes...
stemming from his bonding with his mistress, his heart is not in the family anymore...
staying then actually doesn't make things better, it's just a front...
why not clear up the air, and while divorce is seen as something negative...
wouldn't it be a more viable option than someone supposedly being a husband and father...
yet his presence, physically and emotionally, just isn't really felt within the family anymore...
children get affected by this a lot more, for they are more emotionally vulnerable...

all in all, not a good situation to be...
i am only giving my point of view based on what info i have here...
and i am not judging who's wrong or not...
we don't always get to dictate where our emotions lead us...
but just don't use excuses to degrade the situation even more...

[Dino]

Would it be wrong for me if i say that for a man.....the "quality" and "private" time with wife needs to be satisfied because if you look at all these affairs, he's getting "it" from the other person. :unsure:

[alfred98]

Wah Lilian!! Veri detail response.....Thanks....Anyway, my wish is his family will accept it and the wife won't ask for divorce lah....or else habis liao....work for so long daughter growth up liao....see then onli once a week in Mc Donald lah....that the usual court out come for divorce dad....and the wife will take care the daughters....As I see it the whole thing is not worth it....A happy family can be destroyed by this event....He know all the consequences of this affair and he still continue....We actually hanged out more time with the GF then the wife lah....so my preception for this girl is....She's not a simple minded girl who will be your second unregistered wife...She will probably demand for marriage and the family also won't allow this unrecognised affair to continue.....What I see my frend is in deep shit lioa.....but he don't realised it yet....still dreaming in the love world......

[alfred98]

Would it be wrong for me if i say that for a man.....the "quality" and "private" time with wife needs to be satisfied because if you look at all these affairs, he's getting "it" from the other person. :unsure:
Looks like it....my sensitive issue we don't like to ask him lor.....But the couple looks like going not so intimate as the time goes by......I mean all work onli....But gahment servants whor work hard till U lost your hubby....not worth it either!!!:unsure:

[Anson F-Clef]

What if this aspect of one being loyal (each to the other) is NOT RESOLVED PROPERLY AT DATING/ENGAGEMENT STAGE? If this is brought into the wedded life, TAI WOK LER, Ath!

The grass is always greener on the other side? What makes a man happy anyway? something stable? or something that is new? Happiness is a matter of perseptive. you have to work together. Not just the wife. nowadays the phenomena of wives having affairs is getting more rampant. How would husbands react to this?

Ath, did u mean: it'll have to be THE DEVIL to pay or it'll MAKE THE DEVIL PAY? Whatever lerr.......

but it will the the devil to pay when they find out!! :p

[Anson F-Clef]

At the end of the day, I still think that marriage is mostly NOT NECESSARILY THE BEST SOLUTION TO LONELINESS.......whether or not, as a significant single, I would like that or not......

Would it be wrong for me if i say that for a man.....the "quality" and "private" time with wife needs to be satisfied because if you look at all these affairs, he's getting "it" from the other person. :unsure:

[LiLiaN]

Would it be wrong for me if i say that for a man.....the "quality" and "private" time with wife needs to be satisfied because if you look at all these affairs, he's getting "it" from the other person. :unsure:well, a man has got to satisfy his wife too you know, not just waiting for his wife to do all the work...
if sex is used as excuse for men to have extra marital affairs, then marriages everywhere would be doomed...
if something is not going right in the bedroom, then work on it together, not by seeking a live substitute...

my other 2 cents...

[LiLiaN]

Wah Lilian!! Veri detail response.....Thanks....Anyway, my wish is his family will accept it and the wife won't ask for divorce lah....or else habis liao....work for so long daughter growth up liao....see then onli once a week in Mc Donald lah....that the usual court out come for divorce dad....and the wife will take care the daughters....As I see it the whole thing is not worth it....A happy family can be destroyed by this event....He know all the consequences of this affair and he still continue....We actually hanged out more time with the GF then the wife lah....so my preception for this girl is....She's not a simple minded girl who will be your second unregistered wife...She will probably demand for marriage and the family also won't allow this unrecognised affair to continue.....What I see my frend is in deep shit lioa.....but he don't realised it yet....still dreaming in the love world......errmmm, that's like asking for sainthood, isn't it...? :squeeze:

as we rightly know, sitiawan is a small place as it is, everyone knowing everyone...
how would the daughters take to hearing people gossiping about their mum in "neglecting" their father...
or comments about their father not wanting the family and more content with an affair...?
that his heart is no longer with their family but their parents are still married but unhappily just for their sake...
it really doesn't make things simpler, but to get more mess into the muddle...

and i cannot understand people who openly flaunt their affairs just like that...
if the marriage was already meaningless to him, then it's time to conclude it rightly, no? :confused:

[Sila]

Would it be wrong for me if i say that for a man.....the "quality" and "private" time with wife needs to be satisfied because if you look at all these affairs, he's getting "it" from the other person. :unsure:
well, while this is true, marriage and familiarity does let people slow "it" down - especially when kids are in the picture. but maybe part of why he's not getting "it" from his wife is because he needs to be more generous in bed. after all, if wifey doesn't get to finish during "it" as much as hubby does, then wifey will be less willing to participate, no? ;)

[Sila]

errmmm, that's like asking for sainthood, isn't it...? :squeeze:

as we rightly know, sitiawan is a small place as it is, everyone knowing everyone...
how would the daughters take to hearing people gossiping about their mum in "neglecting" their father...
or comments about their father not wanting the family and more content with an affair...?
that his heart is no longer with their family but their parents are still married but unhappily just for their sake...
it really doesn't make things simpler, but to get more mess into the muddle...

and i cannot understand people who openly flaunt their affairs just like that...
if the marriage was already meaningless to him, then it's time to conclude it rightly, no? :confused:

this part i vehemently agree with. it does seem unwise of alf's friend to be so open about the affair - makes it harder for the family in the end.

also back to the original question, somehow it is more acceptable in society for a man to cheat than for a woman to cheat. it is sexist and unfair - but if one cheats on one's spouse to "get back at him" then may as well go ahead and finish up the marriage. i agree with lil - it will be healthier for the kids for their parents to split up rather than continue to live under the same roof and purposely hurt each other. next thing you know, the kids will be used as pawns to hurt each other as well. better to stop living a lie. (caveat - easy to say lah - i don't have kids, but i do believe this is true)

[Dino]

Being single is the best.....have you ever hear us single fellas complaining about such things?? :p

[song cm]

Being single is the best.....have you ever hear us single fellas complaining about such things?? :p

haha...you are wrong...if you read Dear Thelma regularly, u aso find alot of single ppl cpmplaining.....:p

[Dino]

haha...you are wrong...if you read Dear Thelma regularly, u aso find alot of single ppl cpmplaining.....:p

Bf/gf problem is it???

[song cm]

Bf/gf problem is it???

sometimes....but at times they will complain abt being lonely and lack of companionship.....

well, as they say.....you can't live with them, you can't live without them......

[Dino]

sometimes....but at times they will complain abt being lonely and lack of companionship.....

well, as they say.....you can't live with them, you can't live without them......

You don't see me complaining!!!! :eek: :eek: :p

[SS2006]

Wah Lilian!! Veri detail response.....Thanks....Anyway, my wish is his family will accept it and the wife won't ask for divorce lah....or else habis liao....work for so long daughter growth up liao....see then onli once a week in Mc Donald lah....that the usual court out come for divorce dad....and the wife will take care the daughters....As I see it the whole thing is not worth it....A happy family can be destroyed by this event....He know all the consequences of this affair and he still continue....We actually hanged out more time with the GF then the wife lah....so my preception for this girl is....She's not a simple minded girl who will be your second unregistered wife...She will probably demand for marriage and the family also won't allow this unrecognised affair to continue.....What I see my frend is in deep shit lioa.....but he don't realised it yet....still dreaming in the love world......
We viewing from a bystander point can see and anticipate all the consequences, but why can't the man himself? If he stopped long enough to think with his right head, he wouldn't have got himself into this sh*t.
I think deep down his subconscious, both he and his gf are hoping to be found out...because once their affair is exposed, both of them don't need to be so secretive anymore...and he can start spending his nights at her place, and she will start demanding for his weekend time too. And his little secret problem right now will be everyone's problem to share, the burden will be lighter on his shoulder, and he will start finger pointing blaming everything on his wife. Typical two-timing man's reaction.:mad:

[song cm]

You don't see me complaining!!!! :eek: :eek: :p

haha.....yah horr.......but you don see me complaining 2??
guess Sitiawan ppl very cincai one....:laugh:

[Dino]

Aiyah....some men are pricks laaaa......i can't even stand guys that think that a women's place should be in the kitchen. Especially the china men mentality of getting married to pass down the family name and the whole Chinese mentality that baby boys are better than girls. For one thing.....if the girl that married a man like that cannot see that kind of mentality while in the dating phase.....i would say that she's pretty much asks for it. Thats the whole dem reason for dating....to know each other. I am sure that either party is smart to know what they are getting themselves into during this period.

Sh!t after a few months or even years of dating....you should know if you can live with that person for the rest of your life. Speaking from my own personal experience......you can tell straight away after a few months of dating if that person is right for you or not.I believe these couple that is mentioned got married for the sake of getting married. You could tell straight away that both are pretty much stupid when it comes to relationship issues!!! Don't care how you dice it, stupid is stupid.
And i believe strongly that stupid people should not breed. My dua kupang!!!

[athena]

And i believe strongly that stupid people should not breed.


much as I would like to agree on this fact, they will be too stupid to realise that they sud not pass down this 'defective' genes to the next generation!!!

[Dino]

much as I would like to agree on this fact, they will be too stupid to realise that they sud not pass down this 'defective' genes to the next generation!!!

Another stupid fact....no money but have 10 kids!!! WTF!!!!!:mad:
All running around half naked and looking pitiful!!!!

[athena]

Another stupid fact....no money but have 10 kids!!! WTF!!!!!:mad:
All running around half naked and looking pitiful!!!!
haha..in m'sia....hahaha u get money for breeding la!! eh...or wassit in spore? haha i forget :laugh:

[Anson F-Clef]

STRONG CONFESSION TO THAT.....However, Apostle Paul has something significant to say regarding singlehood in one of his epistles (pleeeez don't get me wrong by thinking that I am preaching a sermon....)

sometimes....but at times they will complain abt being lonely and lack of companionship.....

well, as they say.....you can't live with them, you can't live without them......

[Dino]

Another thing about women these days, Oprah has taught all of you about enpowering yourself, use it laaa.....:squeeze: :squeeze:

[alfred98]

We viewing from a bystander point can see and anticipate all the consequences, but why can't the man himself? If he stopped long enough to think with his right head, he wouldn't have got himself into this sh*t.
I think deep down his subconscious, both he and his gf are hoping to be found out...because once their affair is exposed, both of them don't need to be so secretive anymore...and he can start spending his nights at her place, and she will start demanding for his weekend time too. And his little secret problem right now will be everyone's problem to share, the burden will be lighter on his shoulder, and he will start finger pointing blaming everything on his wife. Typical two-timing man's reaction.:mad:
Ahhhhhhh!!!!:o Ok lah.....if U got frend like this what will be your reaction then???? He is not secretive actually....bring the girl everywhere he goes including our anual conferences.....The wife just don't come....being by her self. I think there is a drift in the relationship.......
Anyway is typical female to blame the male for all this affair thing.....but the problem is we don't get into thier life and analyse them.....
I'm tell U all because I just told this secret to my mini!! She was shock but expecting this thing to occur from the way they lead thier life.....

[alfred98]

errmmm, that's like asking for sainthood, isn't it...? :squeeze:

No lah just a ring above the head enough lor.....I think the damage being done lioa....leaving the girl is almost imposible.....for him lah....leaving the wife also imposible......The problem is I think lah....he got 2 gege but no boy boy right....the wife don't wanna get pregnant lioa.....work commitment leh......:blink:

[alfred98]

Don't care how you dice it, stupid is stupid.
And i believe strongly that stupid people should not breed. My dua kupang!!!
U sound like one fellow south of JB lah......:blink:

[Sila]

Another thing about women these days, Oprah has taught all of you about enpowering yourself, use it laaa.....:squeeze: :squeeze:
this is true - women have so much more today but yet it's hard to get out of the usual stereotypes.

No lah just a ring above the head enough lor.....I think the damage being done lioa....leaving the girl is almost imposible.....for him lah....leaving the wife also imposible......The problem is I think lah....he got 2 gege but no boy boy right....the wife don't wanna get pregnant lioa.....work commitment leh......

having 2 gege and no boy boy is a reason to cheat on your wife or leave her? adoiiiiii - does the sex of the child matter that much? shouldn't he love his children regardless of gender. and because the wife dowan to get pregnant again, that means he has carte blanche to go ahead and have an affair - that is an unbelievably stupid excuse! it's the woman's body that has to go through all kinds of crazyness in order to gestate a child for 9 months, she already has 2 beautiful kids - that's already a beautiful family.

sounds like this friend of yours is just asking for trouble and using any flimsy this or that to have an affair.

[ungsutiong]

some guys are so hurt after being dumped by the gf or wife, they just turn gay. had a discussion with chris c on this issue. she agreed that this is happening. shall we discuss how the guys suffer?

[Dino]

some guys are so hurt after being dumped by the gf or wife, they just turn gay. had a discussion with chris c on this issue. she agreed that this is happening. shall we discuss how the guys suffer?

4 categories ok...
1) Homosexual
2) Heterosexual
3) Bisexual
4) Asexual

The guy that went the other way is either a bi or homo.....don't think a straight guy will go the other way. My dua kupang.

[song cm]

i agree with dino...surely the tendencies must already existed for him to switch camp.....

[alfred98]

this is true - women have so much more today but yet it's hard to get out of the usual stereotypes.



having 2 gege and no boy boy is a reason to cheat on your wife or leave her? adoiiiiii - does the sex of the child matter that much? shouldn't he love his children regardless of gender. and because the wife dowan to get pregnant again, that means he has carte blanche to go ahead and have an affair - that is an unbelievably stupid excuse! it's the woman's body that has to go through all kinds of crazyness in order to gestate a child for 9 months, she already has 2 beautiful kids - that's already a beautiful family.

sounds like this friend of yours is just asking for trouble and using any flimsy this or that to have an affair.

This is not his excuse lah......me presumed!!! I know is stupid one in this era....where boy or girl is the same.....

[alfred98]

some guys are so hurt after being dumped by the gf or wife, they just turn gay. had a discussion with chris c on this issue. she agreed that this is happening. shall we discuss how the guys suffer?
What can I say!!! World is full of flowers!!!!!
Anyway this is just an excuse for him to turn gay lah......

[SS2006]

No lah just a ring above the head enough lor.....I think the damage being done lioa....leaving the girl is almost imposible.....for him lah....leaving the wife also imposible......The problem is I think lah....he got 2 gege but no boy boy right....the wife don't wanna get pregnant lioa.....work commitment leh......:blink:
There, there, there...the excuses come already, pointing finger to the wife liao. BTW, whose fault it is that the Y chromosome sperm is such a slow swimmer?:p

[alfred98]

There, there, there...the excuses come already, pointing finger to the wife liao. BTW, whose fault it is that the Y chromosome sperm is such a slow swimmer?:p
Aiyoyo!! Not excuses lah......Ok lah...man fault lah.....anyway extramarital affair if occurs always man fault in the eyes of societies and female right?? Wrong?:blink:

[SS2006]

Aiyoyo!! Not excuses lah......Ok lah...man fault lah.....anyway extramarital affair if occurs always man fault in the eyes of societies and female right?? Wrong?:blink:
I'm not saying that. But in this case obviously it's the man at fault because he had the extramarital affair, his girlfriend at big fault too because she had an affair with other people's husband...no more single man left in the whole world meh? Why must snatch other person's husband?
In this case the wife is the innocent party because all this happen without her knowledge.
On the other hand, if the wife is cheating on the hub, then it's the women's fault lorr...

[alfred98]

I'm not saying that. But in this case obviously it's the man at fault because he had the extramarital affair, his girlfriend at big fault too because she had an affair with other people's husband...no more single man left in the whole world meh? Why must snatch other person's husband?
In this case the wife is the innocent party because all this happen without her knowledge.
On the other hand, if the wife is cheating on the hub, then it's the women's fault lorr...
We are not in thier shoes lah.....maybe got some good excuse out of it???
Do they have a future, that's my question!!!:blink:

[lynnee]

There, there, there...the excuses come already, pointing finger to the wife liao. BTW, whose fault it is that the Y chromosome sperm is such a slow swimmer?:p

that's right!!!! :mad:

[SS2006]

We are not in thier shoes lah.....maybe got some good excuse out of it???
Do they have a future, that's my question!!!:blink:
Future? With who? Twosome or triangular?
From my observation/ case study....
If the wife is financially independant, she would not tolerate this humiliation and will ask him for an ultimatum... to dump the lover or divorce .
If the wife is fully dependant on husband, or do not want to lose face, or divorce not in her dictionary, then she will tolerate and suffer in silence.

[alfred98]

Future? With who? Twosome or triangular?
From my observation/ case study....
If the wife is financially independant, she would not tolerate this humiliation and will ask him for an ultimatum... to dump the lover or divorce .
If the wife is fully dependant on husband, or do not want to lose face, or divorce not in her dictionary, then she will tolerate and suffer in silence.
Typical...mini also give the same answer!!!!! But this one profesional financial independant lah.....si liao!!!:h:

[SS2006]

Typical...mini also give the same answer!!!!! But this one profesional financial independant lah.....si liao!!!:h:
So you scared or not, Alfred?
Dun play play, later must pay pay, pray pray also no use.

[LiLiaN]

having an affair doesn't always mean pointing finger to the hubby...
but in this case, he's the one having affair, so of course point to him...
regardless of what drove him to have the affair in the first place...
even if the wife is a completely unreasonable b|tch, he's still wrong...
he should have dealt with that first, and end that relationship if it's not rescue-able...
then only move on to another relationship...
dragging on with situation like this only make things worse...

i agree with shir that the hubby has a complex, that he wants to be discovered...
to lighten the burden etc etc... i can see this going disastrously regardless.... :(

[Sila]

Typical...mini also give the same answer!!!!! But this one profesional financial independant lah.....si liao!!!:h:
:)

dunno lah alfred but i think only time will tell what will happen to your friend - but i don't think it will work out pretty for him. silap silap nanti wife divorce, take the kids, and gf dump him because he tries to get back with his wife. left with nothing...

[athena]

having an affair doesn't always mean pointing finger to the hubby...
but in this case, he's the one having affair, so of course point to him...
regardless of what drove him to have the affair in the first place...
even if the wife is a completely unreasonable b|tch, he's still wrong...
he should have dealt with that first, and end that relationship if it's not rescue-able...
then only move on to another relationship...
dragging on with situation like this only make things worse...

i agree with shir that the hubby has a complex, that he wants to be discovered...
to lighten the burden etc etc... i can see this going disastrously regardless.... :(
*clap clap clap* bravo lilian...

if there is problem within the relationship. settle it. make a decision. stay put or leave. if decision is to leave, then make a clean breakup. File for the divorce. Then only go and venture into another new relationship.


if you are not sure whether you want to leave or not. don't start a relationship yet and certainly keep your pants up!!~

[alfred98]

*clap clap clap* bravo lilian...

if there is problem within the relationship. settle it. make a decision. stay put or leave. if decision is to leave, then make a clean breakup. File for the divorce. Then only go and venture into another new relationship.


if you are not sure whether you want to leave or not. don't start a relationship yet and certainly keep your pants up!!~
No share share ah????:laugh:

[Dino]

One thing you ladies keep forgetting is that sex works differently for a man.
The need is different and the act can be accomplished without any emotional addition to it. There's the biggest difference.

[athena]

alf: no share :P

dino: nowadays, in bigger cities...women too treat sex as just an act and not hv emotional feelings to it anymore. However it doesn't make it right or ok to do so. All these boils down to ur moral fibre!!

[Dino]

dino: nowadays, in bigger cities...women too treat sex as just an act and not hv emotional feelings to it anymore. However it doesn't make it right or ok to do so. All these boils down to ur moral fibre!!

Why you think there is a saying that goes "Sometimes a man think with the other head??".....there is a reason for that. Right or wrong....don't matter when its the other head that does the thinking. I am not trying to defend the men's action....i am just saying that the urge works differently. If that need is not satisfied.....man will go look for it elsewhere to get it done.

[athena]

Why you think there is a saying that goes "Sometimes a man think with the other head??".....there is a reason for that. Right or wrong....don't matter when its the other head that does the thinking. I am not trying to defend the men's action....i am just saying that the urge works differently. If that need is not satisfied.....man will go look for it elsewhere to get it done.
:laugh: if both are in agreement then go join a swinging club lor...and let the man see..how 'fun' issit when the wife also goes into an intimate act with another man!! :p

[Dino]

:laugh: if both are in agreement then go join a swinging club lor...and let the man see..how 'fun' issit when the wife also goes into an intimate act with another man!! :p

Oh believe me....for some couples.....swinging works for them. The world is grey....not black and white. :eek:

[alfred98]

Asian still abit conservative for swinging lah....man onli swinging no problemmmm......or called polygamy!!!!!:p

[Dino]

Asian still abit conservative for swinging lah....man onli swinging no problemmmm......or called polygamy!!!!!:p

There are many swinging clubs here......but don't get the wrong idea hoor...single man can only be invited.....so i got no chance to go look see...look see!! :squeeze: :p

[Oddfather]

There are many swinging clubs here......but don't get the wrong idea hoor...single man can only be invited.....so i got no chance to go look see...look see!! :squeeze: :p
and married men just walk in like that?? :blink:

[Dino]

and married men just walk in like that?? :blink:

Well, there are rules to these clubs.....and i think one of the rules is that the couple must be together at all times. Single men are can only attend by invitation and recommendation by a couple.

[Oddfather]

Well, there are rules to these clubs.....and i think one of the rules is that the couple must be together at all times. Single men are can only attend by invitation and recommendation by a couple.
in that case, whats the main attraction of the club? any difference from ordinary ones??

[Dino]

in that case, whats the main attraction of the club? any difference from ordinary ones??

Well, i think the main difference is that these people allow their partners to be swapped on a voluntering basis. I can only assume that their idea of their partners going at it with other people turns them on.....and thats how they like their sex lives to be. Dunno...but i read about it online but i think its pretty bizzare but hey....if they are happy about it......i suppose its up to them.

[Oddfather]

Well, i think the main difference is that these people allow their partners to be swapped on a voluntering basis. I can only assume that their idea of their partners going at it with other people turns them on.....and thats how they like their sex lives to be. Dunno...but i read about it online but i think its pretty bizzare but hey....if they are happy about it......i suppose its up to them.
hmmmm.....musical chair........so many different chairs to sit all nite long....but on the same old chair when going home.....or izit??

[Dino]

hmmmm.....musical chair........so many different chairs to sit all nite long....but on the same old chair when going home.....or izit??

Different chairs laaa.....hubby one chair....wife another chair laaa.....they go home feeling their marriage is strenghtened....:blink:
One of the rules is also....if member ruined a marriage......he/she will be banned from the club.......complicated people i tell you.

[Oddfather]

Different chairs laaa.....hubby one chair....wife another chair laaa.....
hubby chair with others wife.......and wife chair with others hubby!!! :p

[Dino]

hubby chair with others wife.......and wife chair with others hubby!!! :p

When you come...i sign you up for it!!! :eek: :eek: :p

[Oddfather]

When you come...i sign you up for it!!! :eek:
I am not going with you!!! :eek: :squeeze:

[Dino]

I am not going with you!!! :eek: :squeeze:

I just drop you off in the entrance and leave you there man!!! I manyak takut......not as brave as you!!!

[Oddfather]

I just drop you off in the entrance and leave you there man!!! I manyak takut......not as brave as you!!!
wah......you use the back entrance.......manyak pandai. :p

[Dino]

wah......you use the back entrance.......manyak pandai. :p

Sorry ah.....taxi driver only deliver not participate....what time come pick you up??? :p :p

[Oddfather]

Sorry ah.....taxi driver only deliver not participate....what time come pick you up??? :p :p
I thot I called for a complete package.....participating taxi driver!!! :p

[Dino]

I thot I called for a complete package.....participating taxi driver!!! :p

Sorry but i don't think can perform under supervision of the girls hubby!!!! :p

[song cm]

Well, there are rules to these clubs.....and i think one of the rules is that the couple must be together at all times. Single men are can only attend by invitation and recommendation by a couple.
if single man is invited...wouldn't the "pairing" be off? unless its threesome....:eek:

[SS2006]

*clap clap clap* bravo lilian...

if there is problem within the relationship. settle it. make a decision. stay put or leave. if decision is to leave, then make a clean breakup. File for the divorce. Then only go and venture into another new relationship.


if you are not sure whether you want to leave or not. don't start a relationship yet and certainly keep your pants up!!~
clap clap clap* bravo for you too wan lilian...
alf: no share :P

dino: nowadays, in bigger cities...women too treat sex as just an act and not hv emotional feelings to it anymore. However it doesn't make it right or ok to do so. All these boils down to ur moral fibre!!
Not only bigger cities, and not only nowadays.
Last time while i was working part-time in S'wan supermarket during STPM hols, i've met a lot of salegirls/woman there...the things they say/do will shock you, and that time i was barely 20, so innocent then. You'll here of single girls having abortion, married woman 2 timing her husband and all her friends encouraging her,

[Odysseus]

Not only bigger cities, and not only nowadays.
Last time while i was working part-time in S'wan supermarket during STPM hols, i've met a lot of salegirls/woman there...the things they say/do will shock you, and that time i was barely 20, so innocent then. You'll here of single girls having abortion, married woman 2 timing her husband and all her friends encouraging her,
which supermarket in Sitiawan? Loctor, please go and check it out :p

[SS2006]

which supermarket in Sitiawan? Loctor, please go and check it out :p
Sudah tutup pintu larr...The old parkson in Wisma Ganda.

[Odysseus]

Sudah tutup pintu larr...The old parkson in Wisma Ganda.
No wonder la.... people go there to buy other stuff :(

[TK Ho]

Being single is the best.....have you ever hear us single fellas complaining about such things?? :p

Dino, so, being single, you are getting 'it' all the time from diffren diffren gege? :p :p

[Dino]

Dino, so, being single, you are getting 'it' all the time from diffren diffren gege? :p :p

Dun be jahat here ok!!! :p

[TK Ho]

Dun be jahat here ok!!! :p

Oops, second comment I being jahat in this thread from second dmin. Hmmm...dangelous.:amazed:

[SS2006]

Oops, second comment I being jahat in this thread from second dmin. Hmmm...dangelous.:amazed:
Maybe you were right, that's why dear Dino wanted to stop you from exposing his secret here.:p

[Dino]

Maybe you were right, that's why dear Dino wanted to stop you from exposing his secret here.:p

Shirl....don't be jahat also ok....i buy you chocolate, you be good girl ok......:p

[SS2006]

Shirl....don't be jahat also ok....i buy you chocolate, you be good girl ok......:p
Chocolate? Which type? Must sample 1st, only can make a deal.:cool:

[Dino]

Chocolate? Which type? Must sample 1st, only can make a deal.:cool:

Kandos laa....:p

[SS2006]

Kandos laa....:p
Deal off then....
TK Ho, we expose more off Dino's little secret later, k?
One Q Dino....what makes you happy, beside money and your toys?

[Dino]

Deal off then....
TK Ho, we expose more off Dino's little secret later, k?
One Q Dino....what makes you happy, beside money and your toys?

I like my personal time doing what i want. :)

[SS2006]

I like my personal time doing what i want. :)
That's good, reasonable request. When you find your other half, make sure she understands.

[Dino]

That's good, reasonable request. When you find your other half, make sure she understands.

Thats why no interest leh....with wife and kids....personal time does not exists...

[SS2006]

Thats why no interest leh....with wife and kids....personal time does not exists...
Says who? It still do. You just need to find the time. Some people spend all the free time sleeping/ napping...that's why cannot find time. It's all in the time management, and understanding partner, my dear Dino.
So don't give excuses!

[Dino]

Says who? It still do. You just need to find the time. Some people spend all the free time sleeping/ napping...that's why cannot find time. It's all in the time management, and understanding partner, my dear Dino.
So don't give excuses!

:p :p

[Ah Boh]

Firstly, I agree fully with Song that that guy is a jackass......and I can also relate to daBoss's comment, which is actually one of the things in keeping the marriage together. As for me, taking the initiative for my looks does not only make my hubby happy, but it also gave me confidence and made me feel good about myself. ( actually my hubby wouldn't mind if i were to look like Dumbo, cos' he said then no guys would look at me wor...:laugh: )
But then, it should not be an obsession, cos' then a lot of unsatisfaction would creep in and destroy the relationship.
LOL !! :laugh:

i ain't willing to share anything that is mine!!!
Agreed 100% :noworry:

wah...looks like daboss has been mixing too much with buayaking liao...:laugh:

alfred...totally agree with you....it is all about intention and opportunity....if both element arises....jialak liao....
Nicely said, song. Always see dat situation in chinese/korean dramas anyway...

regardless of being married or not.

u shouldn't two-time. that is wrong. period.

if a man sud wanna sleep around with other women and come back to say to the wife, "it's only sex" then, if the wife goes around and sleep with other men and come back to you and say "it's only sex" , how would you feel?? always put urself in ur partners shoes!
sometimes it's not sex as definition of an affair.

let's say i man/woman is extremely close to a person of the opposite sex n tells him/her everything, even stuff they dun tell their own spouses/partners. But they dun sleep together. I call dat Emotional Affair which is also an affair anyway rite?

[song cm]

LOL !! :laugh:


Agreed 100% :noworry:


Nicely said, song. Always see dat situation in chinese/korean dramas anyway...


sometimes it's not sex as definition of an affair.

let's say i man/woman is extremely close to a person of the opposite sex n tells him/her everything, even stuff they dun tell their own spouses/partners. But they dun sleep together. I call dat Emotional Affair which is also an affair anyway rite?

haha...i rmbr last time we had a discussion on this...emotional vs physical cheating......which is worst.....i still think physical is worst....:squeeze:

[Ah Boh]

Aiyah....some men are pricks laaaa......i can't even stand guys that think that a women's place should be in the kitchen. Especially the china men mentality of getting married to pass down the family name and the whole Chinese mentality that baby boys are better than girls.
Oh man, u sure hit d bullseye! I dun hate them, i despise them! they're d very antithesis incarnate in this advanced equal opportunity generation. :mad:

Another stupid fact....no money but have 10 kids!!! WTF!!!!!:mad:
All running around half naked and looking pitiful!!!!
I've seen too many of those, no sense of family planning watsoever.

Next thing u know, they're in the newspapers asking for public donations to help support their 15pax family. it's like... WHY??... :wacko:

*clap clap clap* bravo lilian...

if there is problem within the relationship. settle it. make a decision. stay put or leave. if decision is to leave, then make a clean breakup. File for the divorce. Then only go and venture into another new relationship.

if you are not sure whether you want to leave or not. don't start a relationship yet and certainly keep your pants up!!~
short n not so sweet, but hey, dats d best way to do things.

why make life so complicated anyway by having affair left n right, quarrel with wife/husband, pujuk mistress, torn to spend time with kids, etc etc.

[athena]

because...somebody else's cakes are sweeter!!!

[Ah Boh]

:laugh: if both are in agreement then go join a swinging club lor...and let the man see..how 'fun' issit when the wife also goes into an intimate act with another man!! :p
hear! hear! it works BOTH ways.

U hurt me, i hurt u? wahlau...

haha...i rmbr last time we had a discussion on this...emotional vs physical cheating......which is worst.....i still think physical is worst....:squeeze:
of course it is, cuz it's d most common trap men (and some women) fall into.

but emo affair still hurts d other party too, cant deny dat.

[song cm]

i think most ppl have affairs not becoz they don love their spouse....its just dat they want to relive the passion that were once there.....dats why very important is both spouses try their best to keep the passion alive. NEVER take things for granted and please learn to spend more time with each other......

[song cm]

hear! hear! it works BOTH ways.

U hurt me, i hurt u? wahlau...


of course it is, cuz it's d most common trap men (and some women) fall into.

but emo affair still hurts d other party too, cant deny dat.

true...emotional affairs is aso bad but I guess it is always easier to hide them.....

[LiLiaN]

i think most ppl have affairs not becoz they don love their spouse....its just dat they want to relive the passion that were once there.....dats why very important is both spouses try their best to keep the passion alive. NEVER take things for granted and please learn to spend more time with each other......could not agree more over this... bravo!!

[song cm]

could not agree more over this... bravo!!
tks...but it does take a lot of effort.....:squeeze:

[LiLiaN]

tks...but it does take a lot of effort.....:squeeze:of course, otherwise, who would treasure it...? :)
besides, making effort for the right thing, it's never looked upon as too much effort...
especially when your heart is willing, and you're more than happy to work on it...