the lawsssssss

[clos]

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the Next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the One you are in now.

Bath THEOREM:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

[LiLiaN]

- If anything can go wrong, it will

- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

- Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

- Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse

- Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

- It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious

- When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer

- Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem

- Everything takes longer than you think

- The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet

- A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried)

- A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (e.g. a diamond ring down the drain) - or into the garbage disposal while it is running

- You will always find something in the last place you look

- After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original

- No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper

- The other line always moves faster

- When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly

- There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over

- When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate

- Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

- Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules

This is the first instalment.... :cool: