Jokes

[natalie]

Child: Dad, what is an idiot?

Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening can't understand him. Do you understand me?

Child: No.

***

Boy: I offer you myself

Girl: I am sorry. I never accept cheap gifts....

***

Guy 1: I've lost my dog

Guy 2: Have you tried putting a message on the Internet?

Guy 1: Don't be silly. My dog never reads emails.

***

Computer reads: "Press any key to continue"

Guy: Where is the "any" key on my computer keyboard???

[Rogue trader]

There were two twins, Ram and Shyam who lived in a village by the sea. Ram was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Shyam's wife died the same day Ram's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Ram and mistaking him for Shyam said," I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."

Ram, thinking she was talking about his boat said,"Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.

I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle."

Moral of the story - listen to the question properly before blabbing along ! :)