Parenting

[Voon Chan]

Due to to many question as to parenting, I open a new thread.

That I don't think will work with my niece.. my sis. tried that a few times but it's useless. On the contrary, the situation became worse. She has no choice but to create some white lies. She even has to go early to office to avoid my niece from spotting her leaving the house..

This will create more problem.
1. Child cannot trust parent
2. Child will have fear of loosing his/her parent. Child need security & comfort

Divert the child attention by giving them food, toys & explaining to them

[athena]

the problem with DBS's niece, i feel, is the sis din start from birth...mindset already there. susah wanna change!

[Voon Chan]

the problem with DBS's niece, i feel, is the sis din start from birth...mindset already there. susah wanna change!correct Athena. Talking to them from the day they are born could really help

[dontbullshit]

the problem with DBS's niece, i feel, is the sis din start from birth...mindset already there. susah wanna change!

I think so.. banyak susah with this niece. She just cannot understand the problem that her mum has. Now that she has been sent to nursery, my sis. is complaining that her daugher is bullying other kids.

[athena]

I think so.. banyak susah with this niece. She just cannot understand the problem that her mum has. Now that she has been sent to nursery, my sis. is complaining that her daugher is bullying other kids.
wahlao!! kaki bully ah?

[Voon Chan]

I think so.. banyak susah with this niece. She just cannot understand the problem that her mum has. Now that she has been sent to nursery, my sis. is complaining that her daugher is bullying other kids.If my child beat other kid, i will beat him
Tell him this is how the other person felt when he was beating him/her.

He will then tell me this is painful, I will say, don't beat people then

Try to make her understand

[Voon Chan]

wahlao!! kaki bully ah?they just don't understand what they are doing

[noname]

wahlao!! kaki bully ah?
tai kah che? wow...

anyway should talk to her in nice way and show to her. this might take some time. if u keep forcing her, she might not like it and against it.

[noname]

If my child beat other kid, i will beat him
Tell him this is how the other person felt when he was beating him/her.

He will then tell me this is painful, I will say, don't beat people then

Try to make her understand
yup, playing some reverse physcology with them...

[athena]

yup, playing some reverse physcology with them...
where's the reverse part? direct this one!!:laugh:

[Voon Chan]

yup, playing some reverse physcology with them...This is not.

Try to make them see, feel & understand

[Voon Chan]

where's the reverse part? direct this one!!:laugh:you are sharp!

[dontbullshit]

If my child beat other kid, i will beat him
Tell him this is how the other person felt when he was beating him/her.

He will then tell me this is painful, I will say, don't beat people then

Try to make her understand

tHE PROBLEM with this niece is her kulit tebal macam lembu.. not to say that my sis has not beaten her before.. she just cannot get the concept of not to do unto others what she does not want others to do unto her..

[athena]

tHE PROBLEM with this niece is her kulit tebal macam lembu.. not to say that my sis has not beaten her before.. she just cannot get the concept of not to do unto others what she does not want others to do unto her..
how old is ur niece?? haha....kids are just as complexed as adults!!!

[Voon Chan]

tHE PROBLEM with this niece is her kulit tebal macam lembu.. not to say that my sis has not beaten her before.. she just cannot get the concept of not to do unto others what she does not want others to do unto her..try giving reward to her

how tebal also can talk.
My wife nephew, I can talk to him but the parents can't.
So, it is a correct approach we need

[Voon Chan]

Please note that I am no expert in this field
I am just sharing my views here

[noname]

where's the reverse part? direct this one!!:laugh:
ahahaha. maybe i use wrong word for it..

i mean is when the children did wrong, advise them. if still doing it again, will do it same back to them. at least they know how pain it was. after that, they wont do it again...

maybe apply to me again. e.g like playing matches, when small. play matches always and say wont burn my hand one lah... mum rotan me few times but still playing. one day kena burn a bit and then i feel the pain and dare not play match liao...

kid is if they havent kena yet, then they wont learn (apply to those stubborn kid) in my opinion...

[dontbullshit]

how old is ur niece?? haha....kids are just as complexed as adults!!!

Almost 4. She is also beating her sister quietly at times. When I saw her doing that, I also hantam her lahh.. no use lehh.. talk to her also like talking to the wall.. no use.. no curelehh

[noname]

try giving reward to her

how tebal also can talk.
My wife nephew, I can talk to him but the parents can't.
So, it is a correct approach we need
u r right, some kids can listen to other ppl rather than their parent. perhap they afraid of u and respect u...

[athena]

Almost 4. She is also beating her sister quietly at times. When I saw her doing that, I also hantam her lahh.. no use lehh.. talk to her also like talking to the wall.. no use.. no curelehh
sibling rivalry....song is facing this...but his case...mark (younger one) will whack matt( older one) but mk it look as though matt bullying mark.....itu budak dem good la! :laugh:

[Voon Chan]

Almost 4. She is also beating her sister quietly at times. When I saw her doing that, I also hantam her lahh.. no use lehh.. talk to her also like talking to the wall.. no use.. no curelehhtry not to
she will whack her sister more

REVENGE!

Give her warning & explain to her

[noname]

sibling rivalry....song is facing this...but his case...mark (younger one) will whack matt( older one) but mk it look as though matt bullying mark.....itu budak dem good la! :laugh:
ok. time for me to say chao...

today pecah record... post more than 140 post per day... jialat...

[dontbullshit]

sibling rivalry....song is facing this...but his case...mark (younger one) will whack matt( older one) but mk it look as though matt bullying mark.....itu budak dem good la! :laugh:

Exactly the same case with this particular niecelehh..

[Voon Chan]

u r right, some kids can listen to other ppl rather than their parent. perhap they afraid of u and respect u...you are wrong! Kid should listen to thier parents 1st, not other people

[dontbullshit]

try not to
she will whack her sister more

REVENGE!

Give her warning & explain to her

Still useless.. have tried that method already.. tough nut to crack here horr...

[noname]

in reverse, do not pay revenge with revenge but pay it with good... blessing...

mostly she doesnt value ur advise... so she lagi degil when u give her warning...

[noname]

you are wrong! Kid should listen to thier parents 1st, not other people
nope, some ppl do not. i have come with this case before in hometown... :D

[Voon Chan]

Still useless.. have tried that method already.. tough nut to crack here horr...study her character slowly
understand her & try it out again

[Voon Chan]

nope, some ppl do not. i have come with this case before in hometown... :Dthis is the case of asian people. Program to fear & listen to other

[dontbullshit]

study her character slowly
understand her & try it out again

My sis and my mother already kepala pusing-pusing trying to make her understand how to behave properly.. Only time will change her, I suppose. I have a young cousin who was also very naughty when he was younger. Last 3 weeks, when I saw him, surprisingly, he has changed to be a better, reasonable and smarter kid lehh... His parents also cannot control him during his younger days but I think through time and numerous advice, warning and beatings, he has become a better kid lehh..

[noname]

this is the case of asian people. Program to fear & listen to other
ahahaha. u r right...

anyway, time to go back liao... so see u all next week and have fun...

i having fun in shopping... office baju...

[Voon Chan]

My sis and my mother already kepala pusing-pusing trying to make her understand how to behave properly.. Only time will change her, I suppose. I have a young cousin who was also very naughty when he was younger. Last 3 weeks, when I saw him, surprisingly, he has changed to be a better, reasonable and smarter kid lehh... His parents also cannot control him during his younger days but I think through time and numerous advice, warning and beatings, he has become a better kid lehh..Always listen to thier need is a key to them

[Voon Chan]

See you guys & girls!

Have a nice weekend

[dontbullshit]

Always listen to thier need is a key to them

TQ for your opinion lehh..

[Voon Chan]

TQ for your opinion lehh..You are most welcome:)

[noname]

Always listen to thier need is a key to them
*raise hand up*

question teacher... if we keep fulfill their need, isnt it bad too? very good e.g. is buying toy toy toy... :D nowadays is more than it... buying PC and play games... like my collegues son... only less than 12 years old and playing NFS Underground.

[Voon Chan]

*raise hand up*

question teacher... if we keep fulfill their need, isnt it bad too? very good e.g. is buying toy toy toy... :D nowadays is more than it... buying PC and play games... like my collegues son... only less than 12 years old and playing NFS Underground.Fufill their need is you think is necessary.
They need to understand rules, what they can ask for & cannot

My son he will ask me everything, I will tell him why he cannot have it

Everything his way! & you will have a major problem

[noname]

but some parent really spoilt the children. what the children want, then they will buy for them... (coming from rich house perspective). i have seem it.

sometimes we have to learn how to say no - no to some situation. same goes to my boss... i'll say no :D

[Voon Chan]

but some parent really spoilt the children. what the children want, then they will buy for them... (coming from rich house perspective). i have seem it.

sometimes we have to learn how to say no - no to some situation. same goes to my boss... i'll say no :Dthey cannot give them quality time therefore they compensate with material thing thinking that they can equate the both

Never can the 2 be the same

[noname]

they cannot give them quality time therefore they compensate with material thing thinking that they can equate the both

Never can the 2 be the same
yup, so do u take turn to care your children with ur wife?

monday, wednesday, friday - hubby
tuesday, thursday, saturday - wife
sunday - rest

:))

[Voon Chan]

Chris, any parenting tips for us here:) ?

[Chris C]

Well, can c that all of u are doing well here......what i can say is nowdays, to observe and pay attention to our kids is important. Often kids felt neglected and that's when they start to rebel......

[Voon Chan]

Well, can c that all of u are doing well here......what i can say is nowdays, to observe and pay attention to our kids is important. Often kids felt neglected and that's when they start to rebel......Thank you Chris.

BTW, do you have any rebel at home?:)

[Chris C]

Thank you Chris.

BTW, do you have any rebel at home?:)
Oh yes!....Adeline do try to show some rebellious streak when it comes to going out to play and party....... she'll always say that her frens have so much freedom, blah, blah,.........but I always put my feet down.......no means no!

[Voon Chan]

Oh yes!....Adeline do try to show some rebellious streak when it comes to going out to play and party....... she'll always say that her frens have so much freedom, blah, blah,.........but I always put my feet down.......no means no!Very good. I will tell my son that too now

[h2o]

one nite i was washing up after dinner, i kept telling the kids to have their shower, pack their bags and do their homework and they kept on dawdling on and on until past 9.30pm, like in one ear and out the other......
i was getting frustrated losing my patience but when i finished cleaning up i made them two milos (btw my kids love milo and they can make it for themselves already)
after i called them and they downed the milo, they kissed me and suddenly became ultra obedient......... :D

[Voon Chan]

one nite i was washing up after dinner, i kept telling the kids to have their shower, pack their bags and do their homework and they kept on dawdling on and on until past 9.30pm, like in one ear and out the other......
i was getting frustrated losing my patience but when i finished cleaning up i made them two milos (btw my kids love milo and they can make it for themselves already)
after i called them and they downed the milo, they kissed me and suddenly became ultra obedient......... :Dthe felt that you were :mad: .
So, the change
Nice to know that your kids are understanding

[James Nga]

Oh yes!....Adeline do try to show some rebellious streak when it comes to going out to play and party....... she'll always say that her frens have so much freedom, blah, blah,.........but I always put my feet down.......no means no!

OMG!!! Chris.....................................Madame Josefina Stalin.... :laugh:

[Chris C]

OMG!!! Chris.....................................Madame Josefina Stalin.... :laugh:
....very funny!!!

[Chris C]

OMG!!! Chris.....................................Madame Josefina Stalin.... :laugh:
That's b'cos hubby wants to play the 'good guy', so I have to be the chow lang loh...... :(
But of course my girl do get to go out every now and then, just don't allow her to treat the house like a hotel.....

[James Nga]

That's b'cos hubby wants to play the 'good guy', so I have to be the chow lang loh...... :(
But of course my girl do get to go out every now and then, just don't allow her to treat the house like a hotel.....


he..he..he.. ["james" feeling guilty too.... :squeeze: ]

[Voon Chan]

he..he..he.. ["james" feeling guilty too.... :squeeze: ]James, you are always the nice guy in your house?

[James Nga]

James, you are always the nice guy in your house?

Not really - I can get angry too :mad: (i.e. "You don't like me when I'm angry") as in Incredible Hulk

[Voon Chan]

Not really - I can get angry too :mad: (i.e. "You don't me when I'm angry")Don't what:rolleyes: ?

[James Nga]

Don't what:rolleyes: ?

see above la.. sudah edit.. :p

[Voon Chan]

see above la.. sudah edit.. :p:laugh: , Green monster!
I bet your daughter will not be afraid of it

[James Nga]

:laugh: , Green monster!
I bet your daughter will not be afraid of it

Be afraid, be very afraid........ :laugh:

[Voon Chan]

Be afraid, be very afraid........ :laugh:Currently, I feel that everyone in the family is above me my dad, mom, wife & son. They always come 1st before me. After having a child, he is above everything. Every activities (including sex) need to be set aside for him:amused: