Oh My God! Help us men!

[Voon Chan]

I was talking to a friend last week. here is part of our conversation

JM: I don't what is going on with my wife. She really know how to turn everything around for me. We were having a small arguement, She said that she don't like (a) -(c). So I told her "I will make you happy by giving what you want"

Man, the next moment she started shouting "You don't want to admit you mistake, as if that I am wrong & you are the good one"

I was trying to say that I want to please her that is all

DA: I can't understand too
I was talking to my wife on Friday about meeting with forummers on Tuesday
She said "Meeting your new girls friend"
I said "yes! Not one but a few. Want to come along"
I got lectured for that

I can't understand.

I told my wife one that that my friend got a mistress
She said "you want one too! Don't you dare............................................"

JM: What can we do to avoid all these problem.

DA: Be politically correct with them always. Nothing much can be done. Maybe hormonal too

OMG:eek: ! What is going on? Is it normal for women to act in such a irrational behaviour?

If any one have any solution please share

[WitchKing]

I mentioned to my wife about this friend of mine that got permission from his wife to pasang satu lagi, just for story sake....next thing I knew I got threathened left right and center about my taking on another wife....?? Huh?! waitaminit! I think i lost the plot somewhere along the line there. When was this suddenly about me and not him? I went like, 'hang on! why are so screaming at me for?! I just told you M***n is taking on another wife. I did not say I was.'

....'ALL MEN ARE THE SAME!!!' :mad:

Oh so suddenly I am grouped together with my uncle, bro-in-law and ofis friend in this exclusive possible ball-castrating club of theirs.

Towards the end I said simply, 'kalu camni I tak payah cerita apa2 hapening kat ofis lah, sia2 jee kena tembak friendly fire :h: '

..things like this, i dun think I keep quiet. In my household it is normally I am the loud one, and she is the soft one. So when she becomes 'loud', my decibels go up even higher....can be intense at times.


....but we kiss goodnight thereafter... :wacko: DO NOT TRY TO UNNNERSTAND your spouse too much....if your balls dun get castrated, it willl simply drop off from the stress of figuring dem out.

[Dino]

Man will never understand women.
Women will never learn that man cannot read mind.

[Voon Chan]

Naz, you are right. It is never ending process of learning about your spouse
Try to understand them?
Impossible!

[Voon Chan]

Man will never understand women.
Women will never learn that man cannot read mind.Very true!
They should express it in a manner that we can understand
not your raising voice to express that they are not happy

[Voon Chan]

:wacko: DO NOT TRY TO UNNNERSTAND your spouse too much....if your balls dun get castrated, it willl simply drop off from the stress of figuring dem out.Quote of the day!

[WitchKing]

Naz, you are right. It is never ending process of learning about your spouse
Try to understand them?
Impossible!

Easier to understand sharks, you KNOW if you swim with them, THEY EAT YOU.

With our other halfs, dunno if they're coming or going...you know? Like the praying mantis...

Female mantis : Get over here!! (male mantis comes near, gets his head bitten off by the female, real nasty, blood everywhere)

Female mantis: 'Now honey, I am going to make hot passionate love to you!!!'

Male mantis now with no head, can only think with the other head what the f*ck just happened, which oledi is doing the jiggy...

[athena]

oi naz.....female human mana so bad.....female trolls ok la...can be compared to praying mantis!!

[Voon Chan]

Easier to understand sharks, you KNOW if you swim with them, THEY EAT YOU.

With our other halfs, dunno if they're coming or going...you know? Like the praying mantis...

Female mantis : Get over here!! (male mantis comes near, gets his head bitten off by the female, real nasty, blood everywhere)

Female mantis: 'Now honey, I am going to make hot passionate love to you!!!'

Male mantis now with no head, can only think with the other head what the f*ck just happened, which oledi is doing the jiggy...This post is classic! :laugh:
I agree with you 100%

[song cm]

one piece of advice.....sometimes is better not to share too much....esp those contentious issues.....as they say...silent is golden... :laugh:

[Voon Chan]

one piece of advice.....sometimes is better not to share too much....esp those contentious issues.....as they say...silent is golden... :laugh:W need to talk to our spouse. Bring out some issues & hear thier views

[WitchKing]

one piece of advice.....sometimes is better not to share too much....esp those contentious issues.....as they say...silent is golden... :laugh:

Wife:'you dont tell me ANYTHING, we never talk like we used to'

I TELL YOU, EVERYTIME WE OPEN MOUTH, WE GET IN TROUBLE.
EVERYTIME WE SHUT OUR MOUTH, WE GET IN TROUBLE.

LIKE THIS WE SHOULD MIGHT AS WELL GET IN TROUBLE AND OPEN OUR MOUTH WIDE SHUT! I TELL YOU IT WILL BE EASIER FIGURING THIS OUT THAN YOUR WIFE OKAY!?

[Dino]

one piece of advice.....sometimes is better not to share too much....esp those contentious issues.....as they say...silent is golden... :laugh:

There's your solution Voon. :squeeze:

[WitchKing]

There's your solution Voon. :squeeze:

Not a solution! Ref post 12!

[Voon Chan]

Wife:'you dont tell me ANYTHING, we never talk like we used to'

I TELL YOU, EVERYTIME WE OPEN MOUTH, WE GET IN TROUBLE.
EVERYTIME WE SHUT OUR MOUTH, WE GET IN TROUBLE.

LIKE THIS WE SHOULD MIGHT AS WELL GET IN TROUBLE AND OPEN OUR MOUTH WIDE SHUT! I TELL YOU IT WILL BE EASIER FIGURING THIS OUT THAN YOUR WIFE OKAY!?Naz, this is very interesting
I think I have heard that from my wife before:)

[Voon Chan]

Not a solution! Ref post 12!I can agree with you on that

[Voon Chan]

Can I request some married women to share in this thread?
Thank you

[song cm]

another word of advise....sometimes, they just want a listening ear....don try to analyse their probs and come out with solutions...in most cases, no solution can be found and u will be really streesed out tryin to figure it out.....
remember, just listen......and u will be ok....

[Voon Chan]

another word of advise....sometimes, they just want a listening ear....don try to analyse their probs and come out with solutions...in most cases, no solution can be found and u will be really streesed out tryin to figure it out.....
remember, just listen......and u will be ok....I share this with you
One day my wife was talking about office problem
I was listening
After that she said "SO?" (as I was not saying anything)
The next moment she said "You are not listening, you don"t care about me"

I was like :eek: !

[song cm]

I share this with you
One day my wife was talking about office problem
I was listening
After that she said "SO?" (as I was not saying anything)
The next moment she said "You are not listening, you don"t care about me"

I was like :eek: !

hey...when i say listen....i din say "pretend" to listen...okay.... :eek:

[Voon Chan]

hey...when i say listen....i din say "pretend" to listen...okay.... :eek:my wife asked me once, "Okay about what!"
I damn frustrated!

[WitchKing]

another word of advise....sometimes, they just want a listening ear....don try to analyse their probs and come out with solutions...in most cases, no solution can be found and u will be really streesed out tryin to figure it out.....
remember, just listen......and u will be ok....


...what planet did YOU drop off and landed on earth from??!

[amelia7]

means she just wants you to listen...not expecting solutions, just sympathy and empathy...give her that and everything should be ok...
my 2 sen worth... :)
I share this with you
One day my wife was talking about office problem
I was listening
After that she said "SO?" (as I was not saying anything)
The next moment she said "You are not listening, you don"t care about me"

I was like :eek: !

[Voon Chan]

means she just wants you to listen...not expecting solutions, just sympathy and empathy...give her that and everything should be ok...
my 2 sen worth... :)If she ask me something & I can't remember(after 1 week)
She will say that I am not listening!

[song cm]

...what planet did YOU drop off and landed on earth from??!

i guess either i am a better listener or my wife is less demamding... :laugh: :laugh:

[song cm]

means she just wants you to listen...not expecting solutions, just sympathy and empathy...give her that and everything should be ok...
my 2 sen worth... :)

dats my exact thots....

really, again...remember, they just want to complain...thats all....
like my wife, she wld tell me all her office politics......i wld just listen and give comments only as and when required.....or when she ask for my opinion

[jerrychoo2004]

good for u song your wife so understanding....i am not married yet but i already have problem like voon chan :squeeze:
damn hard to get a solution....i think there is no soulution to it...unless u change the wife or gf... :laugh:

[Voon Chan]

good for u song your wife so understanding....i am not married yet but i already have problem like voon chan :squeeze:
damn hard to get a solution....i think there is no soulution to it...unless u change the wife or gf... :laugh:You will end up having the same problem:laugh:

[WitchKing]

good for u song your wife so understanding....i am not married yet but i already have problem like voon chan :squeeze:
damn hard to get a solution....i think there is no soulution to it...unless u change the wife or gf... :laugh:

belum kawin pun sudah ada problem, lepas kawin abih laa youuuu...I suggest you get as much training NOW before you get to the Big Leagues like (ahem) us married/masak/'head'less hubbies.

Remember the praying mantis, i will pray for you.





...Dun lose your head.

[Voon Chan]

belum kawin pun sudah ada problem, lepas kawin abih laa youuuu...I suggest you get as much training NOW before you get to the Big Leagues like (ahem) us married/masak/'head'less hubbies.

Remember the praying mantis, i will pray for you.

...Dun lose your head.:laugh: , good one

[noname]

I share this with you
One day my wife was talking about office problem
I was listening
After that she said "SO?" (as I was not saying anything)
The next moment she said "You are not listening, you don"t care about me"

I was like :eek: !
depend to individual.

certain wife/lady just want to borrow our ears to listen to their problem... some does want some opinion or feedback and some does not.

from what i observed (on my wife), she want me to listen to her and i open my ears to her. then i need to say some short word like ... "then, go on, listening, ok" and also some body language like nodded your head to agree or not agree and etc.

[song cm]

depend to individual.

certain wife/lady just want to borrow our ears to listen to their problem... some does want some opinion or feedback and some does not.

from what i observed (on my wife), she want me to listen to her and i open my ears to her. then i need to say some short word like ... "then, go on, listening, ok" and also some body language like nodded your head to agree or not agree and etc.

yeah, most women jus like ppl to listen but the prob is dat man always like to find solutions to any problems.....u just have to "butt in" occasionally to show that u r paying attention....
i guess we just have to learn to listen n not find any solutions....

[Hisham]

A good thread this.

Men & women psychological reactions to different things range from wildly different to almost similar. Because of the hormonal differences, the latter is found more frequently than the former.

In my limited experience I would say to all men, just go with it. It's just a minor discomfort compared to a lot of other pain there are in the world. You have to talk to her macam mana pun. If she doesn't want to talk at that time, wait until later. In the end things will be okay.

When during PMS, for some women it's even worse. If she doesn't feel the cramps the hormonal flood will also cause her to act unexpectedly. And if, like my wife, she feels the pain really bad for a couple of days, she'll be in a bad mood in those days. During this period, I just try to keep her comfortable and I have to accept that sometimes (not all the times) if I do the best also she's bound to terasa hati and merajuk.

Usually I either just say "It's the hormones talking, dear" and believe it or not 80% of the time it works when she realizes this; or I just stay clear until she's feeling better. When she does feel better and if she knows she did something irrational she always apologizes. Of course, she has to know that when I make a mistake I too always apologize.

On the other hand, because I act with less emotional responses, I do act like a kepala batu most of the time, and when I do she will ask me, "Why did you act like that? Didn't you think how so & so will feel if you did?" To which I will reply, "I'm sorry. I don't think that way, I'm just a man. You, as my significant other, will have to advise me on that."

So it's a give & take situation. Because of our differences, sometimes what I say can make her feel bad, or what she says can make me feel bad, not because both of us want to on purpose, but because what makes us happy & sad differs and changes with stimuli and degree over time.

But the most important thing is that knowing this and accepting it makes it all better. You'll have more tolerance of the other's weird behaviour. No one is the same, so you can't please anyone 100%.

I hope this post makes sense. Cause my eyes are all crossed and double visioned already.

[daBoss]

argue all you want... but one fact remains... you cannot live without them either... :)

[WitchKing]

argue all you want... but one fact remains... you cannot live without them either... :)

never doubted THAT fact. Nossirree....

[Chris C]

Hokay..........my dua sen opinion.........since most of u are still, how do i put it, young in your marriage, most women do tend to feel still unsecure about their hubby. Used to be like that during the 1st few yrs but as time goes by and my hubby proved his worth, it doesn't bother me anymore even when he jokes about visiting his girlfrens. I'll just tell him, "enjoy yourself then...."
In fact nowdays I think he worries more about me than me worrying about him. :laugh: What Song said is rite, in fact, wot all u guys said is rite.....diff lady, diff
character, but that doesn't mean it can't be solved. It just needs time, lots of patience and understanding.....
Voon, don't feel dishearthened, your wife most probably react this way b'cos she do love u dearly and she feels unsecure. Which woman wouldn't feel 'threathen' by other women when it concerns her hubby..... :)

[WitchKing]

Hokay..........my dua sen opinion.........since most of u are still, how do i put it, young in your marriage, most women do tend to feel still unsecure about their hubby. Used to be like that during the 1st few yrs but as time goes by and my hubby proved his worth, it doesn't bother me anymore even when he jokes about visiting his girlfrens. I'll just tell him, "enjoy yourself then...."
In fact nowdays I think he worries more about me than me worrying about him. :laugh: What Song said is rite, in fact, wot all u guys said is rite.....diff lady, diff
character, but that doesn't mean it can't be solved. It just needs time, lots of patience and understanding.....
Voon, don't feel dishearthened, your wife most probably react this way b'cos she do love u dearly and she feels unsecure. Which woman wouldn't feel 'threathen' by other women when it concerns her hubby..... :)


My frens,....now THAT, is a response. :noworry:

[Voon Chan]

Thank Chris, my friends & myself can handle the situation well. We are hoping to understand why is there such irrational behaviour in existence.
"Love will conquer all" hope it will

[Voon Chan]

Hisham, thank you for a great opinion. I am learning from everyone

[Hisham]

Thanks, VC... and Chris's reply is a top-notch grade-A quality thought.

[Voon Chan]

Thanks, VC... and Chris's reply is a top-notch grade-A quality thought.Yes, I must agree with that

[Chris C]

Yes, I must agree with that
:) thank u, naz, his and vc....just sharing thru' experiences......so next time u guys's wives start 'speaking in tongues', just have this on mind..........."She Loves Me.....!!!!!!"........and u guys better earn your worth to have a peaceful marriage...... ;)

[Voon Chan]

:) thank u, naz, his and vc....just sharing thru' experiences......so next time u guys's wives start 'speaking in tongues', just have this on mind..........."She Loves Me.....!!!!!!"........and u guys better earn your worth to have a peaceful marriage...... ;)thank you Chris

[Chris C]

thank you Chris
u're welcome........ :)

[Voon Chan]

u're welcome........ :)It is not easy to be a spouse of another. So many thing that we have to put above us for the sake of the family

[amelia7]

then, just apologize and ask to refresh...nothing works like 'being humble. I agree with SongCM, most of the time just be a good listener...dun we all need a good listerner sometimes???? I've been in this (marriage) for 14 years and have realised that the listening part is important....my 2 sen worth.

If she ask me something & I can't remember(after 1 week)
She will say that I am not listening!

[Voon Chan]

then, just apologize and ask to refresh...nothing works like 'being humble. I agree with SongCM, most of the time just be a good listener...dun we all need a good listerner sometimes???? I've been in this (marriage) for 14 years and have realised that the listening part is important....my 2 sen worth.That is very common.
I listen to everything
Whatever, life goes on.

Amelia, thank you:)

[WitchKing]

:) thank u, naz, his and vc....just sharing thru' experiences......so next time u guys's wives start 'speaking in tongues', just have this on mind..........."She Loves Me.....!!!!!!"........and u guys better earn your worth to have a peaceful marriage...... ;)

'Yes, Sir! I mean, Ma'am.'

[LiLiaN]

*i am learning from wise people here, thanks!*

[song cm]

but honestly...for wat is worth...all these headache is all worth it ..... for a soul mate and lifetime companion...... :D

[Voon Chan]

but honestly...for wat is worth...all these headache is all worth it ..... for a soul mate and lifetime companion...... :DVery true. Who would live with you for life?
Both parties must be really committed to the relationship in order for it to grow.
The commitment must be there
of course love too

Song, good to know that you are having a beautiful married life.

[song cm]

Very true. Who would live with you for life?
Both parties must be really committed to the relationship in order for it to grow.
The commitment must be there
of course love too

Song, good to know that you are having a beautiful married life.

haha...dunno whether it is beautiful or not...but definitely contented with wat i have.... :D

[amelia7]

wah! song...looks like your soul mate and you very 'ngam' lah. It's endearing to hear it.. :)
but honestly...for wat is worth...all these headache is all worth it ..... for a soul mate and lifetime companion...... :D

[Voon Chan]

haha...dunno whether it is beautiful or not...but definitely contented with wat i have.... :DThat is good enough
Mark & Matthew you keep you busy & happy always

[song cm]

wah! song...looks like your soul mate and you very 'ngam' lah. It's endearing to hear it.. :)

hey...we do have our ups and downs...of course....but looking at wat she has done for the family, i have total repect and admiration for her....
No doubt there were times, I feel like strangling her but those times are few and far in between....after all don forget...she is the mother to my sons.... :D

[Chris C]

hey...we do have our ups and downs...of course....but looking at wat she has done for the family, i have total repect and admiration for her....
No doubt there were times, I feel like strangling her but those times are few and far in between....after all don forget...she is the mother to my sons.... :D
:laugh: at least u only feel like strangling her and nothing more..........betcha haven't thought of "The 101 ways of getting rid of your spouse", yet........
So good, very good so far and happy to know you're handling it very well..... :smile-2:

[Voon Chan]

:laugh: at least u only feel like strangling her and nothing more..........betcha haven't thought of "The 101 ways of getting rid of your spouse", yet........
So good, very good so far and happy to know you're handling it very well..... :smile-2:Is that a book to be written by Chris C?

[Chris C]

Is that a book to be written by Chris C?
:laugh: not me......saw this in a comedy movie long time ago.....

[Voon Chan]

:laugh: not me......saw this in a comedy movie long time ago.....I see. Want to share some story?

[Chris C]

I see. Want to share some story?
..all silly ones lah, like poisoning, electrocuting, car accidents, snake in the toilet bowl,etc.,etc......

[Voon Chan]

..all silly ones lah, like poisoning, electrocuting, car accidents, snake in the toilet bowl,etc.,etc......and the reason for killing is............?

[Chris C]

and the reason for killing is............?
...can't stand each other loh.......

[Voon Chan]

...can't stand each other loh.......should just go for divorce
murder is against the law & it is a big sin

[Chris C]

should just go for divorce
murder is against the law & it is a big sin
ya.......but as I've said, it was a comedy, so it was funny seeing how they try to murder each other but failed each time they try.........and at the end, they kissed and patched up. :)

[Voon Chan]

ya.......but as I've said, it was a comedy, so it was funny seeing how they try to murder each other but failed each time they try.........and at the end, they kissed and patched up. :):laugh: ,crazy people!

[Chris C]

:laugh: ,crazy people!
well....it's a crazy world..... ;)

[Voon Chan]

True Chris!
We can be really angry with a person (spouse & Kids) & we love them so much at the same time

[Chris C]

True Chris!
We can be really angry with a person (spouse & Kids) & we love them so much at the same time
This is wot I've learned over the yrs, only dislike wot the person did, but don't hate that person. :)

[Voon Chan]

This is wot I've learned over the yrs, only dislike wot the person did, but don't hate that person. :)it is so difficult to hate the person you love

[LiLiaN]

it is much easier to dislike the person you used to love...?

[Voon Chan]

it is much easier to dislike the person you used to love...?YES!

[LiLiaN]

love and hate too closely linked lar like this...

[Voon Chan]

love and hate too closely linked lar like this...yes! if there is no hate there won't be love

[Chris C]

but then, hating wot a person did and hating the person himself/herself is a diff thing.........nobody's perfect.....so if u look at it in a diif way and be more sympathetic and understanding, u'll tend to hate less........my dua sen opinion...and also something I practice.....

[LiLiaN]

but what to do when the person is driving you nuts??

[Voon Chan]

but then, hating wot a person did and hating the person himself/herself is a diff thing.........nobody's perfect.....so if u look at it in a diif way and be more sympathetic and understanding, u'll tend to hate less........my dua sen opinion...and also something I practice.....thank you for the explanation

[Chris C]

but what to do when the person is driving you nuts??

All I can say is ignore him/her. Put it this way, have pity on that person for he/she might not know what he's/she's doing. Be sympathetic and thank God that u're not that crazy.........this works for me cos' at the end of the day hate would not build up in u......and u'll learn to look at mankind in a diff way...

[Voon Chan]

Chris, I can see a lot of Widom in you in respect of this

[LiLiaN]

chris, thanks for the advice... and yeah, i don't like to dislike people...
it takes more energy out of me than anything else in the world...

[Chris C]

Chris, I can see a lot of Widom in you in respect of this
I had a whole life of lessons and I'm glad for the experiences that i had gone thru'. If u look at life in a positive way, u'll learn and grow, and I'm still learning and growing......( hopefully not sideways..... :laugh: )

[song cm]

it is much easier to dislike the person you used to love...?

dislike might not be a right word....more like displeasure and dispointed as u tend to take ur loved ones for granted.....unfortunately....

[LiLiaN]

dislike might not be a right word....more like displeasure and dispointed as u tend to take ur loved ones for granted.....unfortunately....yeah, those are probably more appropriate words to use... i didn't want to use hate - too strong a word...

[Voon Chan]

I had a whole life of lessons and I'm glad for the experiences that i had gone thru'. If u look at life in a positive way, u'll learn and grow, and I'm still learning and growing......( hopefully not sideways..... :laugh: )sharing with us all you wisdom is a great way for us to learn too

[Chris C]

chris, thanks for the advice... and yeah, i don't like to dislike people...
it takes more energy out of me than anything else in the world...
u're welcome dear.......nobody's perfect, and neither of us have the right to 'cast the stone' at others since we're not perfect either......and yes, it's more burdensome to hate than love.....

[LiLiaN]

u're welcome dear.......nobody's perfect, and neither of us have the right to 'cast the stone' at others since we're not perfect either......and yes, it's more burdensome to hate than love.....but isn't it oh so easy to cast the other people as the wrong doer...?
in any case, shall heed your advice... and hope it'll make me a better person... :)

[Chris C]

but isn't it oh so easy to cast the other people as the wrong doer...?
in any case, shall heed your advice... and hope it'll make me a better person... :)
oh yes dear......it's definitely so much easier to cast the stone at others....but if u're humble enuff, u'll see it in a diff light....

[LiLiaN]

oh yes dear......it's definitely so much easier to cast the stone at others....but if u're humble enuff, u'll see it in a diff light....unfortunately so far, haven't been quite that humble... a bit too full of myself sometimes... :(

[Chris C]

unfortunately so far, haven't been quite that humble... a bit too full of myself sometimes... :(
it's not a bad thing either, as long as u don't over-do it..... u'll come across to such path one day, and hopefully then u might be able to handle it well then and not hurt others or yourself....life is good to waste it that way.....

[LiLiaN]

it's not a bad thing either, as long as u don't over-do it..... u'll come across to such path one day, and hopefully then u might be able to handle it well then and not hurt others or yourself....life is good to waste it that way.....thanks chris :)

[Chris C]

thanks chris :)
u're welcome dearie..... :) .....and I hope wot I've said will be able to help out...

[LiLiaN]

u're welcome dearie..... :) .....and I hope wot I've said will be able to help out...yes, character self evaluation and self improvement...
learn from the wise, and know what is true for me... ;)

[Chris C]

yes, character self evaluation and self improvement...
learn from the wise, and know what is true for me... ;)
...good for u..... ;)

[Sila]

ya.......but as I've said, it was a comedy, so it was funny seeing how they try to murder each other but failed each time they try.........and at the end, they kissed and patched up. :)
"marah marah, sayaaaaaang" :D

anybody saw the War of the Roses? talking about comedy, and spouses running around killing each other?

[Voon Chan]

"marah marah, sayaaaaaang" :D

anybody saw the War of the Roses? talking about comedy, and spouses running around killing each other?Yes! Crazy show with a stupid ending

[LiLiaN]

or maybe the latest mr and mrs smith style...
big guns and all, targeting each other...
but still, "are you alright there baby..?" :laugh:

[Voon Chan]

or maybe the latest mr and mrs smith style...
big guns and all, targeting each other...
but still, "are you alright there baby..?" :laugh:is that so, maybe I will catch the movie soon

[LiLiaN]

is that so, maybe I will catch the movie soonit's fun... you should read shiruikage's blog entry for that... full of details...
hmm... in that case maybe not, coz story all revealed then...

[Voon Chan]

it's fun... you should read shiruikage's blog entry for that... full of details...
hmm... in that case maybe not, coz story all revealed then...maybe i should read to see if i like that movie

[Lava Gal]

hey...when i say listen....i din say "pretend" to listen...okay.... :eek:

haha...sometimes i notice ppl do pretend to listen...juz for sake of being polite & non- offensive. and others might really listen & ponder bout things that were said, and thus being lost in their tots...and not paying full attention....

solution ahh?

well....my 2 kupang is try using reflective listening.
at appropriate intervals...summarize/ rephrase wat ur wifey has been telling u...REMEMBER - dont be judgemental or critical...could land u in hot soup as women wud think "there he goes...MCP style, juz wanting to offer solution....when all i wanted was for him to LISTEN!" :eek:

1 more...look at her when she's talking...pay FULL attention....even if u think wat is being said is rubbishy...oor u disagree with her...listen first, then maybe both parties can try analyze the situation togeter-gether lo ;)

[Voon Chan]

haha...sometimes i notice ppl do pretend to listen...juz for sake of being polite & non- offensive. and others might really listen & ponder bout things that were said, and thus being lost in their tots...and not paying full attention....

solution ahh?

well....my 2 kupang is try using reflective listening.
at appropriate intervals...summarize/ rephrase wat ur wifey has been telling u...REMEMBER - dont be judgemental or critical...could land u in hot soup as women wud think "there he goes...MCP style, juz wanting to offer solution....when all i wanted was for him to LISTEN!" :eek:

1 more...look at her when she's talking...pay FULL attention....even if u think wat is being said is rubbishy...oor u disagree with her...listen first, then maybe both parties can try analyze the situation togeter-gether lo ;)Lavanya, it is very common peopl pretend to listen to another

By the way are you talking about selective listening?

[Lava Gal]

Lavanya, it is very common peopl pretend to listen to another

By the way are you talking about selective listening?
no no...selective listening is what land guys in problem in 1st place lar...haha, tatz when u Pretend to listen! :rolleyes:

:laugh: :laugh: i meant reflective listening orite...where one LISTENS, and reflects their understanding of wat has been said to understand if they got it right :)

[Voon Chan]

no no...selective listening is what land guys in problem in 1st place lar...haha, tatz when u Pretend to listen! :rolleyes:

:laugh: :laugh: i meant reflective listening orite...where one LISTENS, and reflects their understanding of wat has been said to understand if they got it right :)We need both, if only reflective, we may have BIG STRESS