Poems & others

[Linkinfark]

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.

God saw me hungry, He created pizza
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi
He saw me in the dark, He created light
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful,
The grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful,
Why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you,


When your life is in the darkness,
Pray to God ask Him to free you from the darkness,
And if after you pray and you are still in the darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!!!

[Linkinfark]

How Many Dogs Does It Take
To Change A Light Bulb?


Golden Retriever
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead
of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?


Border Collie
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.


Dachshund
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!


Rottweiler
Make me.


Boxer
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.


Lab
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can
I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!


German Shepherd
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check
to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter
patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.


Jack Russell Terrier
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.


English Sheep Dog
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb...


Cocker Spaniel
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.


Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."


Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?


Australian Cattle Dog
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...


Poodle
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time
he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


The Cat
Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the
real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light,
some dinner, and a massage?"


ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN,
THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

[Linkinfark]

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T!"

"Don't what?"
Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!"
said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!"

God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?"
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.

"She started it!"
Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1.You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk
and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and
shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children
.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you In fact, they usually repeat word
for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

[Linkinfark]

A seven year old boy from Klang was at the center of a Magistrate courtroom drama Friday morning when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, so the judge
awarded custody to his aunt. The boy, however, stated that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and refused to live there.

Therefore, the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone. In an unprecedented
move, the judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have
custody of him.

Custody was finally granted to the Malaysian national football team
this morning as the boy firmly believes that they are not capable of
beating anyone!

[KoChun]

Post no #4 was posted in the Jokes thread. :cheesy:

[Linkinfark]

Post no #4 was posted in the Jokes thread. :cheesy:

Yakah? Like that copyright issue liao.. :(

[siewjang]

Linkinfark, I know you are not so innocent. Post la something your kind :D

[Linkinfark]

Linkinfark, I know you are not so innocent. Post la something your kind :D

Wah.. don't spoil my retu.. reput..reputaii.. reputation leh.. :smile-2:

Something for you..
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v627/linkinfark/ChurchSign_d.jpg

[siewjang]

Amen!

[athena]

i'm a catholic and i've never seen that sign in my life!!! http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/happy/icon10-3.gif