Chris C
05-31-2005, 01:56 AM
Subject: MEN ARE FROM MARS ! WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
Time for some male bashing.....( for a change )..;)
> Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
> A: Puppies grow up.
> Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
> A: Because they are...
> Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
> A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
> Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
> the ground first?
> A: Who cares?????.....
> Q: What did God say after he created man?
> A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
> Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
> A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
> Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
> A: i) no mind ii) no business
> Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
> A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions.
> Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
> A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
> Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
> Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
> A: Exchange him!!!.
> Q: Why do men like smart women?
> A: Opposites attract.
MEN ARE FROM MARS ! WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels,
filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the
drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out
some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.
She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her
teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light
was on.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the
hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things
to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did...without another thought.
Wonder why women live longer...? CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...
Time for some male bashing.....( for a change )..;)
> Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
> A: Puppies grow up.
> Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
> A: Because they are...
> Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
> A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
> Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
> the ground first?
> A: Who cares?????.....
> Q: What did God say after he created man?
> A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
> Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
> A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
> Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
> A: i) no mind ii) no business
> Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
> A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions.
> Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
> A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
> Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
> Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
> A: Exchange him!!!.
> Q: Why do men like smart women?
> A: Opposites attract.
MEN ARE FROM MARS ! WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels,
filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the
drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out
some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.
She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her
teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light
was on.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the
hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things
to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did...without another thought.
Wonder why women live longer...? CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...