[closed]Proverbs, Captions, One liner, A Thought A Day.

[Alkapocino]

Please post wut u think is worth pondering here:

e.g.

1. A fool who owns a BMW ( or an ox..in older days) is seldom recognised as a fool.

AFRICAN PROVERB

2. Nothing is all wrong. Even the clock that stops is right twice a day.

AL KAPOCINO.

[buff]

Please post wut u think is worth pondering here:

e.g.

1. A fool who owns a BMW ( or an ox..in older days) is seldom recognised as a fool.

AFRICAN PROVERB

2. Nothing is all wrong. Even the clock that stops is right twice a day.

AL KAPOCINO.

profound indeed ...

[Dino]

Stupid is stupid, it don't matter how clever you make it sound, its still stupid. :D

.

[KoChun]

Eric, your are the champion. Standing ovation for you.

[daBoss]

Ah! This one is worth pondering...

What can we sell in eBay to make a couple of extra bucks!!!

[Rayhong]

just a thought of the day, something which irritates me to the core of my bones. it's about accents.

when one claims to have been living overseas or been studying there for a year or 2, they come back home speaking with the accents of the said country. but then horr... no matter how long they are back in malaysia horrr, they can never seem to pick up or rather get back the malaysian accent.

1. i am only speaking of a minority splinter group, henceforth known as Posers
2. if they are married to kwai los, OR are constantly exposed to the intonation, that still can accept
3. for those who just returned from a lengthy stay overseas, i am fine if initially you may have a tinge of accent, but then if the environment does not govern it, then LOSE IT!!!

funny thing is i have a friend that was born and bred in canada, moved back to malaysia and has been here for about 5 years, and still speaks with an american accent. annoying. everyone around him is chinese!!

i have known of other friends that have been living in malaysia for 18 years, then go UK for 1 year and come back speaking a variation of english even the queen can't understand.

final example, paula malai ali. our very own, home grown MTV celebrity. i tell you her accent is getting heavier by the day. living in malaysia, married to a prince from trengganu, works in singapore - and has been doing so for quite some time, but some how can never seem to pick up the malaysian accent!! hmphh..

i guess i'm more annoyed, more so than any one else, as i am faced with pseudo westerners on a daily basis. haha. like an aunty of mine puts it so eloquently.... "Aiyah, talk like kwai lo... when take off the trousers, the pubic hair still black colour laaa!!!!" :eek:

go figure

[KoChun]

Another champion spotted, Ray's aunty.

[Alkapocino]

The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn't hear the referee.



- H.E. Jansen

[siewjang]

The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn't hear the referee.



- H.E. Jansen

some redneck playing football huh... hahahaha....

[Dino]

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

[siewjang]

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

[Alkapocino]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent,
and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that
there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears
to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident
the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What
does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone
has stolen our tent."

[siewjang]

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does
milk... so why go clubbing????

[KoChun]

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone
has stolen our tent."

Good one, Godfather. Make me laughed in the office nia. :D

[KoChun]

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect.
But nobody's perfect
so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep.

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning.

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk.

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours.

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... why learn?

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
what more can I say.

[Alkapocino]

That's a masterpiece. A thousand thoughts in a day not one. :)

[song cm]

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does
milk... so why go clubbing????


to drink coke ........ haha

[Alkapocino]

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.



- Oprah Winfrey

[siewjang]

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

[KoChun]

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Instead, help a lady :p

[crackjet]

http://bondedtogether.net/jokes/workingwithidiots.jpg

[crackjet]

:rolleyes: Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

:rolleyes: Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

:rolleyes: Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

:rolleyes: You can only go as far as you push.

[Alkapocino]

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.



- Wilson Mizner

[Alkapocino]

The two boys were dressed and ready to go. Excitement flooded their faces and all their talk was about only one thing: their father had promised to take them to the circus that afternoon!

Dad came home from work after lunch and quickly changed into casual clothing. Just as the three of them were about to leave the house, the phone rang. The boys listened as their father talked with the person on the other end of the line. Bit by bit, their faces began to fall. this was obviously a business call. Disappointment rolled into the room like a dark cloud. Their mother also overheard what she thought was inevitable change of plans. Then to everyone's surprise, they heard Dad say, "No, I won't be down. It will just have to wait until morning."

He hung up the phone and called for the boys to meet him at the car. As he turned to kiss his wife goodbye, she smiled, and with a tinge of fear that he may have made the wrong decision, she said, "The circus keeps coming back, you know."

The husband replied, "Yes, I know, but childhood doesn't."

[TingMS]

wah...


so many proverbs already..

how to digest in one day...

[fishboy]

"kite flies higher whn it goes against the wind"

[daLady]

On my boss' desk : " be reasonable....do it my way.."

[Hisham]

:cool: Do unto others, then loot the bodies.

[Dino]

A moment in the lips....forever in the hips! :D

[Rayhong]

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance.
Talent will not; nothing is more common that unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistance and dedication alone are omnipotent.


It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.


I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work.
- Harry S. Truman

[clos]

I've learnt that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

[Rayhong]

Irony is when you buy a suit with two pairs of pants and then burn a hole in the coat.

WHY WHY WHY


Why is "brassiere" singular while "panties" are plural?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are their floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it when you transport something by car, its called a "ship-ment" but when you transport it by ship its called a "car-go"?
Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
Why are they called apart-ments when they are stuck together?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same substance as the indestructible black box?
Why isn't phonetics spelled the way it sounds?
AND THINK ABOUT THESE:
Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime?
How does the guy that drives the snowplow get to work?
What would Geronimo shout if he jumped out of a plane?

[Alkapocino]

He who hunts two rats catches none.

NinjaTurtles

[Alkapocino]

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.

[TingMS]

Remember this one, anybody ??? :-

Slow and Steady...

Masuk Longkang....


heheheeeheheee

:cool:

[KoChun]

Remember this one, anybody ??? :-

Slow and Steady...

Masuk Longkang....


heheheeeheheee

:cool:

Yah, I remember that. Another one.

Fast and not steady...
Masuk jambang.

[Alkapocino]

"TIME FLIES" ask them who is the pilot. :confused:

[siewjang]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

[natalie]

Know him before you love him.

[Alkapocino]

"Dont be like the door, lots of action but no progress"

Rev. Peter Chung

[JC]

As my signature goes...

Money is not everything BUT everthing is money...

[natalie]

Look at an elephant for its tusks, a tiger for its stripes, look for evidence rather than hearsay...... (for example, I doubt the real GOG actually is computer literate....:D)

[JC]

Life is hard, and it's harder if you're stupid.
– George V. Higgins, from his novel The Friends of Eddie Coyle

[siewjang]

As my signature goes...
A Boss is like a diaper. Always on your ass and usually full of S-H-I-T!

[Alkapocino]

Some people can't see the solution. Others can't see the problem.

- G.K. Chesterton

[Alkapocino]

If people knew how hard I worked to get mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful after all. - Michelangelo

[siewjang]

I Am Thankful...

For The Wife Who Says It's Hot Dogs Tonight, Because She Is Home With Me And Not Out With Someone Else.

For The Husband Who Is On The Sofa Being A Couch Potato, Because He Is Home With Me And Not Out At The Bars.

For The Teenager Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes Because That Means She Is At Home, Not On The Streets.

For The Taxes That I Pay Because It Means That I Am Employed.

For The Mess To Clean After A Party Because It Means That I Have
Been Surrounded By Friends.

For The Clothes That Fit A Little Too Snug Because It Means
I Have Enough To Eat.

For My Shadow That Watches Me Work Because It Means
I Am Out In The Sunshine.

For A Lawn That Needs Mowing, Windows That Need Cleaning,
And Gutters That Need Fixing Because It Means I Have A Home.

For All The Complaining I Hear About The Government Because It Means That We Have Freedom Of Speech.

For The Parking Spot I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking And That I Have Been
Blessed With Transportation.

For The Lady Behind Me In Church That Sings Off Key Because It Means That I Can Hear.

For The Pile Of Laundry And Ironing Because It Means I Have Clothes To Wear.

For Weariness And Aching Muscles At The End Of The Day Because It Means I Have Been Capable Of Working Hard.

For The Alarm That Goes Off In The Early Morning Hours Because It Means That I Am Alive.

And Finally.....

For Too Much Posting Because It Means I Have Friends Who Are Thinking Of Me.

[Alkapocino]

Nodody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why ?
Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life's most
important battle - he defeated the fear of trying.

- Robert Schuller

[Rogue trader]

To know the value of one year ..... ask the student who failed the final exam
To know the value of one month ..... ask the mother of a premature baby
To know the value of one week ..... ask the editor of a weekly newsmagazine
To know the value of one day ..... ask the wage earner who has six children
To know the value of one hour .... ask the lovers who are waiting to meet
To know the value of one minute ..... ask the person who missed the plane
To know the value of one second ..... ask the person who survived the accident
To know the value of one millisecond ..... ask the Olympic silver medalist.

[Dino]

To know the value of 20c ask Kuan Wong!!! :D

[ausman]

Dino... as always ... full of crap..... of all the people ask KOH KUAN WONG???? man u are not his buddy.....

why not me.......???

[Dino]

To know the value of 20c ask Ausman!!!

[LiLiaN]

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes"
- Oscar Wilde

[Rogue trader]

As you reflect on your past and anticipate the future, understand that virtually nothing you have experienced has been wasted.

- Dennis Waitley

[LiLiaN]

"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
-- Albert Camus

[Alkapocino]

It takes twenty years to make an overnight success.



- Eddie Cantor

[Fulat]

You dont need to get a whole pig if you only want a 6" sausage.

[siewjang]

Work is for People who doesn't know how to fish!

[Rogue trader]

A job is something you do for money. A career is something you do because you have an inner calling to do it.

- Dennis Waitley

[LiLiaN]

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
- Erica Jong

[Highwayman]

The Best of men are but men at best

[Dino]

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.

Adage

[JC]

Have this been said?

"Beggers cannot be choosers".

[ausman]

"Real man fight without gloves".... 3M staff....

[LiLiaN]

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance"
-- Socrates

[Alkapocino]

NOBODY is PERFECT, I am NOBODY

*Recite till u get the NOBODY.

[LiLiaN]

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."
-- William James

[Rogue trader]

Life is too short to be little !

- Benjamin Disraeli

[ausman]

Your today's action define your tomorrow result...

[LiLiaN]

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart"
-- Saint Jerome

[TingMS]

Be generous with your energy.
Be generous with your smiles.

[Linkinfark]

Never hold your farts in,
They travel up your spine, into your brain,
and that is where shitty ideas come from!!! :D

[Dino]

Never hold your farts in,
They travel up your spine, into your brain,
and that is where shitty ideas come from!!! :D

Speaking from experience huh! :p

[Linkinfark]

Speaking from experience huh! :p

Nope, just went to toilet and farted and shitted... :p

[Dino]

Nope, just went to toilet and farted and shitted... :p

Excellent!!! We should see some quality postings from you then!!! :p

Anyway.....here's one

Love is blind, but marriage can be a real eye-opener.

[Alkapocino]

There is one thing worse than training people and losing them, and that is not training them and keeping them.

- Zig Ziglar

[Linkinfark]

Eye halve a spelling chequer. it came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
As soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose and eye can put the error rite.

[Dino]

Eye halve a spelling chequer. it came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
As soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose and eye can put the error rite.

I think its easier if you just said you have a PC that has spell check. :p
Just kacauing you today Linkinfark.....

[LiLiaN]

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks"
--Totie Fields

[buff]

They used to say that life is not a bed of roses...

but i say that even a bed of roses is full of thorns :(

[Alkapocino]

The single most important ingredient to success is the ability to last.

- Tom Hopkins

[Robin Kok CH]

"The politician who never made a mistake never made a decision."
- John Major

[Rogue trader]

Most people when they come to you for advice come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

- Josh Billings

[LiLiaN]

"A good speech, like a woman's skirt, should be long enough to cover the subject and short enough to keep one interested"
-- Mr Patrick Fernandez (in one of my English tuition classes) :D

[Robin Kok CH]

Some funny advert I saw:
FBI - Female Body Inspector

Quote:

"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question."
- Albert Camus

[Alkapocino]

A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea.

- Proverbs from the land of guinness and baileys.

[Alkapocino]

Never interrupt your opponent while he is making a mistake. (Napoleon Bonaparte)

[Robin Kok CH]

Hi everybody
This was a poem sent to me. As you read the poem, just look down to your right and feel the warmth in your hearts. This will add meaning to your busy work schedule, and you will tell yourself, hey, it is people you are after all touching.
Tata.
R.

A DAD'S POEM...by a little girl
*******************************

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far

You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time...to live and love

[LiLiaN]

very sweet indeed.....

[LiLiaN]

"True love brings up everything - you're allowing a mirror to be held up to you daily"
-- Jennifer Aniston

[Alkapocino]

Reading makes a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.

-Francis Bacon

[LiLiaN]

"If anything can go wrong, it will"
- Murphy's Law (more wisdom from the land of the leprechauns!)

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

[LiLiaN]

"Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten"
-- more Murphy's Law (from the land of origin of Guinness World Records)

[Alkapocino]

The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.


- Benjamin Jowett

[Robin Kok CH]

Fact of the Day:
Every day, Americans chew 50 million sticks of gum.

Quote of the Day:
"Visits always give us pleasure -- if not the arrival, the departure."
- Portuguese proverb

[LiLiaN]

If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut
-- Albert Einstein

[piglet]

Life is too short to be little !

- Benjamin Disraeli


live as if you were to die tomorrow

[piglet]

A good companion shortens the longest road

[piglet]

See with your mind; hear with your heart

[piglet]

A fool dreams of wealth, a wise man, of happiness

[Alkapocino]

When French kentut, they say "Excuze Me".
When British kentut, they say " Pardon Me".
When Malaysians kentut, they say "Not Me! Not Me!"

-Ball Ung (Class of 85)

[piglet]

Eat and drink with your friends but do not trade with them

[piglet]

Those who know do not talk; those who talk do not know

[LiLiaN]

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."
- Oscar Wilde

[KoChun]

There are some roads which we must not follow, some enemy troops we must not fight, some cities we must not attack, some grounds we must not contest, even some orders which we must not obey.
-Sun Tzu

[ausman]

There are two type of people...one is a driver and the other is the passenger. which one is you?

[ausman]

There 3 kind of people, a wise man, a smart man and a stupid man.
Smart man - learn from his own mistakes
Wise man - learn from others mistake
Stupid man - don't know he make mistake.

[Robin Kok CH]

People who say things like "My eyes arent what they used to be".

So what did they used to be? Ears?

[Robin Kok CH]

War does not determine who is right,
War determine who is left.

[Robin Kok CH]

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eats?

[Robin Kok CH]

Man who run in front of car get tyred.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

[Robin Kok CH]

Fact of the Day:
A gibbon’s arms are almost three times the length of its body.

Quote of the Day:
"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn’t isolated, something is wrong."
- Orson Welles

[Rogue trader]

I used to say, " I sure hope things will change." Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change.

- Jim Rohn

[ahbau]

kids at the back seat cause accidents.
accidents at the back seat cause kids.

[Rogue trader]

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

- George Carlin


Ah Bau, congratulations for the second child. Hope you are not trying to hint to us that your second one is an accident at the back seat ? :)

[ahbau]

Quip 1: Marriages are made in heaven, but so again are
thunder and lightning.

Quip 2: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Quip 3: Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100
grand!

Quip 4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first
year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors
listen.

Quip 5: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the
wife is.

Quip 6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Quip 7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you said. After marriage, he
will fall asleep before you finish.

Quip 8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law
allows only one wife.

Quip 9: Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but
again, the law allows only one husband.

Quip 10: Man is incomplete until he marries. After that,
he is finished.



rouge,
thankyou. my car back seat tak boleh lah. just a wira. if unser or frontier then maybe.

[LiLiaN]

"When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest"
-- William Hazlitt

[Rogue trader]

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.



U r welcome, Ah Bau.

[LiLiaN]

- if it's good, milk it for all it's worth
- successful people are "moo-vers and shakers"
- don't just be one of the herd
- the cream always rises to the top
- don't stoop to a barnyard mentality
- don't be bossy
- it's better to have been milked and churned, than to never have milked at all
- if you need to get somewhere, hoof it
- some day can be udder frustration
- if you are feeling low, moo yourself a little song
- chew your food 50 times before swallowing
- don't let others corrall you
- munch hays while the sun shines
- he who lives with the herd learns to watch his step
- following your heart will always steer you to the right direction
- party 'till the cows come home
- live for-heifer young
- here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo-moo

[Robin Kok CH]

Fact of the Day:
The first power plant opened in 1882 and was owned by Thomas Edison.

Quote of the Day:
"There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age."
- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve

[siewjang]

Positive thinking is like this.... A little bird flies up in the sky; you look up and it shits in your eye...
But you don't mind and you don't cry... But you thank God that cows don't
fly.....

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."
- H.G. Wells

[Rogue trader]

Most of you have probably heard about the meaning of consultant - someone who con and then insult you.

Here's another one - a consultant is a person who ask you what the time is and then charge you for it.

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most."
- American proverb

[Alkapocino]

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

[BohPian]

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble,
it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

[BohPian]

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
Honoré de Balzac, French writer

[Rogue trader]

You may not know the background of a certain laundry worker who earned sixty dollars a week at his job but had the burning desire to be a writer. His wife worked nights, and he spent nights and weekends typing manuscripts to send to publishers and agents. Each one was rejected with a form letter that gave him no assurance that his manuscripts had even been read. I've received a few of those special valentines myself through the years, and I can tell you first hand that they're not the greatest self-esteem builders.

But finally, a warm, more personal rejection letter came in the mail to the laundry worker, stating that although his work was not good enough at this point to warrant publishing, he had promise as a writer and he should keep trying.

He forwarded two more manuscripts to the same friendly-yet-rejecting publisher over the next eighteen months, and as before, he struck out with both of them too. Finances got so tight for the young couple that they had to disconnect their telephone to pay for medicine for their baby.

Feeling totally discouraged, he threw his latest manuscript into the garbage. His wife, totally committed to his life goals and believing in his talent, took the manuscript out of the trash and sent it back to Doubleday, the publisher who had sent the friendly rejections. The book, titled Carrie, sold over five million copies, and as a movie, became one of the top-grossing films in 1976. The laundry worker, of course, was Stephen King.

[Diong_Gar_Loon]

"A half-filled glass can be viewed either as half-full or half-empty but I would be more interested in finding out who drank from my f**king glass."
-Diong 2004

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"People don’t choose their careers; they are engulfed by them."
- John Dos Passos

[LiLiaN]

"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

[Alkapocino]

Anyone can point out a problem; only people who think well can present possible solutions.

- John Maxwell

[piglet]

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

[piglet]

Friend are the flowers in the garden of life

[piglet]

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

[Diong_Gar_Loon]

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Not true. Technology today can bring back your virginity.

[daLady]

Not true. Technology today can bring back your virginity.

But another prick...gone again :D

[piglet]

Not true. Technology today can bring back your virginity.

Why go through the "technology pain", unless u wan to sell ur self.. :p

[Dino]

Love is blind, but marriage can be a real eye-opener.

[piglet]

You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty.

[piglet]

Love is blind, but marriage can be a real eye-opener.

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.

[piglet]

Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: The chances are he will not use it wisely.

[piglet]

There is only one success -- to be able to spend your life in your own way.

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."
- Marlene vos Savant

[Dino]

Do not marry a person that you know you can live with;
only marry someone that you cannot live without.

[Robin Kok CH]

"Men have become the tools of their tools."
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862). People have become dependent on and victims to our inventions.

[piglet]

Stupid questions are better than stupid mistakes.

[Robin Kok CH]

"All things are difficult before they are easy."
Thomas Fuller. Only work and experience makes something easier and more
enjoyable.

[piglet]

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

[Robin Kok CH]

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there."
Josh Billings. Never give up. You must work at something over and over again
until you achieve your goal.

[piglet]

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry.

[piglet]

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

[Alkapocino]

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.



- Warren Buffett

[Robin Kok CH]

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." by Teddy Roosevelt in
1901. This means that you should be diplomatic, polite and friendly while
working out problems but have force to back up your words.

[Alkapocino]

When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.

- Walter Lippmann

[LiLiaN]

"It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact"
-- Edmund Burke

[LiLiaN]

"My advice if you insist on slimming: eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it!"
-- Harry Secombe

[Rayhong]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein

[BohPian]

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that, too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

-- Shel Silverstein

[BohPian]

Voyage upon life's sea,
To yourself be true,
And, whatever your lot may be
Paddle your own canoe.

Sarah Bolton

[BohPian]

Sometimes God calms the storm; sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms the child. - Author unknown.

[LiLiaN]

"A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak."
--Michael Garrett Marino

[Robin Kok CH]

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
Anonymous. We should listen more and speak less.

[LiLiaN]

"It matters not how long we live, but how"
-- Philip James Bailey

[Robin Kok CH]

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
Tom Clancy. Fiction is often more believable than reality is.

[Alkapocino]

People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get along in this world are the people, who, if they don't like their circumstances, go out and create their own



- George Bernard Shaw

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
- Barry LePatner

[LiLiaN]

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough"
-- Albert Einstein

[LiLiaN]

"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand"
-- Leonardo da Vinci

[siewjang]

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day

2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
With two ears and one mouth.. it's meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.

"He who guards his lips guards his soul."

4. Stand Up!!
. .. . for what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."

5. Look Up !!
. . . Keep yourself centered. Remember, you are important.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up !!
. . . for something higher.
Trust with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding.

7. Lift Up !!
. .. . your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."

[siewjang]

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift ...Thrown away...Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"

[clos]

as wat my signature says....(not the avatar,ok)

[clos]

progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change things. even when they talk, they still are the same....

[kamkuey]

Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?

- evolingam

[kamkuey]

An amplifier is nothing when there is nothing to amplify..

[Sarah]

My signature too is worth reflecting upon... :)

[Alkapocino]

Laughter has no foreign accent.

- Paul Lowney

[kamkuey]

Remove your wipers if you do not want to get a parking 'saman'...

- *dunno who liao*

[Robin Kok CH]

"Prejudice is just another word for ignorance."
Thomas A.D. Weston.

[piglet]

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
But often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us

[piglet]

Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

[LiLiaN]

"Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort"
-- Charles Dickens

[LiLiaN]

"Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love"
-- Thomas Fuller

[Alkapocino]

Individuals with hope actively pursue their objectives, but that hope needs fuel - and the fuel is encouragement.


- Zig Ziglar

[KoChun]

Zig Ziglar, my favourite with his Over The Top, Step To The Top, See You At The Top.

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively."
- Voltaire

[clos]

the worst day diving is better than, the best day working. :D

[yee keong]

i don't understand, why look down to your right?? if you wanna talk about the heart, i guess you better look down your left. then again, maybe it's something i don't get. sheessh!

[yee keong]

ok, sorry about that post. i was referring to another post but forget to put the quote in. must have been posted quite a while, so .... um...well forget it.

[LiLiaN]

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why"
-- Eddie Cantor

[LiLiaN]

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. "
-- Aristotle

[Alkapocino]

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

- Albert Schweitzer

[Robin Kok CH]

Intelligence is like underwear. We all should have it but we
shouldn't show it off. -Anonymous

[Alkapocino]

If you truly want to know how your actions come across to your coworkers and customers, stop gazing adoringly at yourself in the mirror. Let your colleagues hold the mirror and tell you what they see.

- Marshall Goldsmith

[clos]

your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep. :rolleyes:

[Rogue trader]

The future has several names. For the weak, it is the impossible. For the fainthearted, it is the unknown. For the thoughtful and valiant, it is the ideal.

- Victor Hugo

[jeongyik]

Everyone plays golf now, which is a lot of like going to strip club. You get all charged up, pay big money to hang out on a beautiful course, and start drinking early. Eighteen holes later you're plastered and frustrated and most of you balls are missing.
-Don't stand too close to a naked man, Tim Allen

[LiLiaN]

"We need men who can dream of things that never were."
--John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963), speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963

[Alkapocino]

Understanding that our emotions tend to be oriented toward immediate gratification is an essential first step toward developing the self-discipline habit.

- Robert J. Ringer

[yee keong]

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
* Robert Frost *

[yee keong]

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
* Franklin P. Jones *

[jeongyik]

Small people must be completely familiar with the spirit of large people, and large people must be familiar with the spirit of small people.
- The book of Five Rings- The Water Book

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"No artist is ahead of his time. He is his time; it is just that others are behind the times."
- Martha Graham

[LiLiaN]

"Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions"
-- Cullen Hightower

[LiLiaN]

"Silence is a text easy to misread"
-- AA Attansio

[LiLiaN]

"Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you"-- Lisa Alther

[ausman]

Nice From Far....as u get nearer .... it Far From Nice.

[yee keong]

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.- Jerry Seinfeld

[yee keong]

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
* Darrin Weinberg *

[yee keong]

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

[yee keong]

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

[yee keong]

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
THAT'S relativity.
* Albert Einstein *

[Alkapocino]

"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools, because they have to say something."

- Plato

[jeongyik]

Do not be concerned about others not appreciating you,.
Be concerned about yourself not appreciating others.

Confucius

[LiLiaN]

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry [economy]"
-- William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 1 Scene iii

[LiLiaN]

"This above all, to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man"
-- Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 1 Scene iii

[jeongyik]

In words maybe I seem slightly emotional, but like any normal human being, I have that knack of wearing the right mask at the right occasion, and that usually means I’m perfectly okay.

[BohPian]

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

I. I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.....I am helpless;
it isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place;
but it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in....it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V. I walk down a different street.

[Alkapocino]

Do not waste a minute - not a second - in trying to demonstrate to others the merits of your performance. If your work does not vindicate itself, you cannot vindicate it.


- Thomas Wentworth Higginson

[jeongyik]

Things become strong and then get old
This is called contrary to the Tao
That which is contrary to the Tao soon ends
-Chapter 30, Tao Te Ching

[piglet]

Chinese Proverb: Sufferance is equal to consent
Chinese Proverb: Wisdom is better than weapons of war
Chinese Proverb: A stupid man dies a stupid death
Chinese Proverb: Remembering is for those who have forgotten
Chinese Proverb: It is good to be neither high nor low
Chinese Proverb: The tongue is soft and remains, the teeth are hard and fall out
Chinese Proverb: When brothers and sisters argue, the bystander takes advantage
Chinese Proverb: A word wispered in the ear can be heard for miles
Chinese Proverb: Mischief results from too much opening of a mouth
Chinese Proverb: When the blind lead the blind, they will both fall into the water

[piglet]

It is impossible to love and be wise.

[LiLiaN]

It is impossible to love and be wise.
because love is blinding..? :rolleyes:

[Alkapocino]

Our nature consists in motion; complete rest is death.

-Blaise Pascal.

[Alkapocino]

I think women see me on the cover of magazines and think I never have a pimple or bags under my eyes. You have to realize that's after two hours of hair and makeup, plus retouching. Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.

- CINDY CRAWFORD

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"A short saying oft contains much wisdom."
- Sophocles

[euj]

just a thought of the day, something which irritates me to the core of my bones. it's about accents.

when one claims to have been living overseas or been studying there for a year or 2, they come back home speaking with the accents of the said country. but then horr... no matter how long they are back in malaysia horrr, they can never seem to pick up or rather get back the malaysian accent.

1. i am only speaking of a minority splinter group, henceforth known as Posers
2. if they are married to kwai los, OR are constantly exposed to the intonation, that still can accept
3. for those who just returned from a lengthy stay overseas, i am fine if initially you may have a tinge of accent, but then if the environment does not govern it, then LOSE IT!!!

funny thing is i have a friend that was born and bred in canada, moved back to malaysia and has been here for about 5 years, and still speaks with an american accent. annoying. everyone around him is chinese!!

i have known of other friends that have been living in malaysia for 18 years, then go UK for 1 year and come back speaking a variation of english even the queen can't understand.

final example, paula malai ali. our very own, home grown MTV celebrity. i tell you her accent is getting heavier by the day. living in malaysia, married to a prince from trengganu, works in singapore - and has been doing so for quite some time, but some how can never seem to pick up the malaysian accent!! hmphh..

i guess i'm more annoyed, more so than any one else, as i am faced with pseudo westerners on a daily basis. haha. like an aunty of mine puts it so eloquently.... "Aiyah, talk like kwai lo... when take off the trousers, the pubic hair still black colour laaa!!!!" :eek:

go figure
i agree with ray, although i have to say there are exceptions to the rule. for example, i have a boss in sydney who is scottish and has been in australia about 30 years, but still sounds like he just came straight off the boat from sctoland. and my bro has been here 4 years, but still sounds like he's on holiday on singapore, where he studied for 12 years. btw, i hope you weren't talking about me, ray. ;)

[jeongyik]

In the end, we will conserve only what we love, We will love only what we understand and we will understand only what we are taught....
Baba Dioum

[euj]

well, we've got a this quote at work:
if you want to make money, here's the trick:
1) don't lose money
2) save as much as you can, for as long as you can
3) refer to rule number 1

[Alkapocino]

"Don't argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

-PHIL

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences."
- Norman Cousins

[jeongyik]

The person who is on tiptoes does not stand
The person who straddles does not walk
The person who flaunts oneself is not seen clearly
The person who presumes oneself is not distinguished
The person who praises oneself has no merit
The person who boasts about oneself does not last

-Chapter 24, Tao Te Ching

[Alkapocino]

"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
- Japanese Proverb

[euj]

we live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police - jeff marder

[siewjang]

we live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police - jeff marder
:mad: We even get them (pizza) for free if the delivery mens arrived 30 minutes late :mad:

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way."
- Red O'Donnell

[jeongyik]

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
Benjamin Disraeli

[Robin Kok CH]

Quote of the Day:
"A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year."
- Polish proverb

[LiLiaN]

"Act quickly, think slowly"
-- Greek proverb

[euj]

why do farts smell?
so the deaf can enjoy them too! :)

[Robin Kok CH]

why do farts smell?
so the deaf can enjoy them too! :)

I think you got the wrong tread here. Try the "Kay Poh Chee" Corner, "post your fav jokes"...

[euj]

I think you got the wrong tread here. Try the "Kay Poh Chee" Corner, "post your fav jokes"...
come on lah...that's pretty profound on so many different levels, plus funny too. :D

[LiLiaN]

"The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution"
-- JK Rowling in Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone

[Robin Kok CH]

come on lah...that's pretty profound on so many different levels, plus funny too. :D

Okie, ... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_7v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414YYSG)

[euj]

Okie, ... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_7v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414YYSG)
yay! thank you... :D

[jeongyik]

God never play dice
Albert Einstein

[Alkapocino]

Words that come from the heart enter the heart.

-THE SAGES

[LiLiaN]

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
-- Sir Winston Churchill

[euj]

'If you have to force it, you're not doing it right'
--My engineer dad. Applies to engineering and life and relationships, i reckon! :)